Oh, the places you will go...

Some Things

2012-02-10T07:30:00.001-08:00

I'm a fairly artistic person, so I get excited (maybe obsessed...maybe) when I find something that causes me inspiration or when I have a thought. I mean, not just a normal thought. I have "normal" thoughts all the time. Usually they aren't worth sharing, but I also can't stop talking so I share them anyway. Kind of like those last couple sentences. No, I mean an important thought.

Anyway, I'm constantly surrounded by academics and theologians, which to my dismay is more of a science than an art, so I find that I'm needing to work harder at finding artistic inspiration. But I have had some lately, so I thought I'd share.

1. Sputnik. Click on their link here, but it's a really fabulous little joint. My dearest Kimber and I decided to be friends again, so we met up for dinner. We met up at Beatrice and Woodsley, which is a fabulous girly/woodsy/vintagey place and I did really like it. But when their food was crazy expensive, we decided to have drinks and apps there and then go get a burger. Cause that's what kind of girls we are. Anyway, we walked into Sputnik (which was the second time I'd been there) and I had this fleeting thought. "These are my people." I don't know if they thought I fit in, but I did. I love it there. If I was a full time writer, that would be one of the places I'd go to write. And eat sweet potato fries.

2. I literally cannot stop listening to the cover of Somebody That I Used to Know by Walk off the Earth. (Originally by Goyte.) I'm serious. I bought it on iTunes, and then last night I listened to it 3 times in a row before I went to sleep. Besides the fact that the guy in the middle (Gianni) kind of creeps me out with his intense staring, I think it's brilliant. I want to be that talented. Besides that, I also want to give major props to Goyte (click his name for his version of the song) because that is a beautiful song. Seriously.

3. My students are learning about God (obvs). Tuesday we talked about the Trinity and then Thursday we talked about His attributes. In their book, Stanley Grenz talks about how we can understand God's love through the Trinity. He goes into how understanding this should play a role in our prayer life, because we can address each member of the Trinity for their specific relation to us. He says, "For this reason, in prayer we come before the Father. We praise him for who he is, thank him for what he has done, and petition him in the face of need, because he is the good and wise supplier of all that we lack." (Grenz's Theology for the Community of God, page 75)

4. I got a new (to me) Smiths album the other day, with this song (There is a light that never goes out). It is super depressing and melancholy, but I love it. And I was listening to it the other day and I thought about how ironic the title is. And I started being so thankful that even though I'm crazy and have the tendency to be melancholy, I don't have to worry about really going off the deep end. Because for me, there really is a Light. No matter how far I spiral into my artistic mess of a brain, God will pull me out.

5. Tobias Funke. It has nothing to do with anything, except that it's amazing. Arrested Development. Enough said.

My Dysfunction

2012-02-08T07:30:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, I was in Urban Outfitters with my friend Karla. We were looking around at assorted items, mostly mustache straws and other such hipster novelties, and all of a sudden Karla said, "Kristy! Look at this!"

It was a book called My Dysfunctions Guided Journal. Inside are some quotes and pages where you write down "Why I am dysfunctional today."

"You probably need this. I bet it would help," Karla said.

I agreed, which is the shameful part of this story.

But I didn't want to spend the money on it, because it's the kind of thing you want but can't justify so you not-so-subtly hint about it on your blog. However, Karla also pointed out that I probably don't need a journal to write it all down (though I would like to point out that as it is a GUIDED journal, I'd be much more likely to identify my dysfunctions than left to my own devices) since I have this here blog.

So rather than write you the serious post I have floating around in my head, I'm going to tell you why I am dysfunctional today.

Where to start?

Mostly, I think today's dysfunction came out most clearly when I was teaching. We were talking about the Trinity, and I was explaining that the Greek word ousia is used to describe God's essence. "Guys, have you seen the Veggie Tales?" I said. "Whenever I see the word ousia, I think about Larry's Silly Song about loving his lips. I mean, I know that word is ousta or something, but they're kind of the same. But not at all related. But that's how I remember it."

God's essence = Larry's lips

Yup.

The Real Story

2012-02-06T07:30:00.001-08:00

Remember how on Friday I was all "it wasn't a REAL blizzard"? Yes, I was wrong. I mean, after 2 feet of snow in my neighborhood, I was forced to admit defeat.

Because they took all the sharp things away and I couldn't escape my misery, I decided it'd be fun to document what it's like to be a 10 pound dog in 2 feet of snow.

In pictures. Narrated by Lizzy, because it's funnier that way.

Those weird men shoveled the paths, so I can get through today. Yesterday I just had to pee on Mom.

She made us take a picture together. I hate cameras. They steal my soul.

The snow is really deep, but good thing I'm a master jumper. I can jump through WAY more snow than this.

Ain't nothin gonna breaka my stride, ain't nothin gonna HOOOOLD me down, oh no! I gotta keepa movin!

Mom was all, "Lizzy, I want to be in a picture, too!" And I was like, "But I'm so much cuter."

I like to forge my own path sometimes. Even when the snow is taller than me.

The sun is out and Mom gave me a bone to make up for being evil and taking my picture. I have to go sleep now, cause I'm really tired.

Apparent Blizzard of '12

2012-02-03T13:36:00.000-08:00

I REALLY want to put 0 in front of all the years. Like in that title. I want it to say "Blizzard of 012." It sounds better. Trust me, I'm a writer.

Guys, I had to drive to DIA to pick up my grandma who was on the only flight into Colorado that didn't get cancelled today. And by "I had to drive," I mean I rode in the car while my mom drove, then I drove the car to the waiting area and watched Parks and Rec on my phone until Mom called to say she had dear old Granny.

I have never before called my grandma "Granny." That was weird.

Then we drove back. Now the two of them are driving back to Colorado Springs, and I'm wearing my fabulous Broncos sweater and some leg warmers. (AND PANTS. Geez.)

Thus, this is the least interesting blog ever.

But it is 2:30 and I'm tired from all the sitting in cars I've been doing, plus it's "blizzarding" outside. (I don't feel like this is a real blizzard. I don't know why. Maybe because I haven't had any hot chocolate.) And my dog has to bound through the snow that's taller than her. So that obviously wears me out.

Also, I'm already lonely. Someone come visit.

I'm So Excited!!!

2012-02-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

I really, deeply need you all to watch this video with Kristen Bell. I have seriously not laughed that hard in years.

But the reasons I loved this so much go deeper than because it's just really, really funny. It's because, well, guys...

This is how badly I want an otter.

I'm serious.

If I was dating someone who had the power and ability to get me an otter for my birthday, I would have a complete breakdown of my senses.

You know how Kristen says that if she's not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, she's crying? That's how I am. Only with laughing.

I laugh whenever I have any kind of emotional reaction.

The other day, I was watching Armageddon (don't make fun, you used to love it, too). Embarrassing fact of the day: whenever I watch this movie, I sob uncontrollably. But while I am deep in the throes of sobbing...I start laughing. It's one of the most disturbing sights you will ever see.

The worst part?

When I'm this emotional...it's the bad laugh.

You know how some girls have this laugh that they're all "embarrassed" of? It's like a snorty laugh or high pitched or something, and they act like it's just so awful, but really it's endearing and makes guys fall in love with them. That is not my laugh.

My laugh is kind of terrifying. When it happens, my dog hides. Or tries to make sure I'm not dying. When my friends are around, they make me go in another room to calm down. I'm positive that if a guy was around, it would scare him off for good.

So basically what I'm telling you right now...

Please get me an otter, because I will love you forever, but also then realize that I will become a terrifying shadow of the person that you knew and you probably won't want me to love you forever.

Okay? Thanks!

2012-01-30T07:30:00.000-08:00

I've spent the entire weekend locked in my house. Other than a trip to the pharmacy, one night of hanging out with the incomparable Jamie Vandenberg, and 10,000 walks with Lizzy, I've been stuck at home. I got a lot done, but not even near what I was hoping to, mostly because yesterday I was kind of wallowy. However, there has been one constant in my weekend. I've been confronted with strength, mainly in women, wherever I turn.

My class is learning about revelation this week, and I've been busy preparing for their lesson on the Bible (specifically the origins and authority of it). I'm kind of a mean teacher and make them read original texts from theologians who've been dead for years. (They're all in English, don't worry.) For this, one of the excerpts I read was by Ludolf of Saxony, who talks about reading Scripture imaginatively. He says that when we read the Bible, we are entering into the story. (Something I have been teaching about literature for YEARS, so I know Ludolf and I would've been great friends.) He says, "With Mary Magdalene seek the risen Christ until you are found worthy to find Him."*

While I was doing all this work, I was also watching a lot of Netflix. (I get really lonely in my house, so TV makes good background noise. I've developed an uncanny ability to watch TV while doing all sorts of things.) Last night while I was finishing laundry, I watched Elizabeth. I know it's fairly old now, but I hadn't seen it before and I was curious what it'd be like. After the movie was over, I was fascinated by what happened to her. In the movie (which I realize is not at all historically accurate, especially after I looked her up on the most reliable source I know--Wikipedia) she'd been hurt by men and ended up deciding to make herself a statue in order to be strong and untouchable.

Then, my roommate and I started watching One Tree Hill (again, while I worked...) and the episode on was about Brooke saving her foster daughter from this guy who beat up Brooke and killed Quintin earlier in the show. (As a side note, OTH is kind of ridiculous. But addicting. And Nick Lachey makes hilarious cameos.) She ends up telling this guy that he can't take anymore of her life, and he gets arrested and all is well. But the point is that Brooke defeats the power this guy had over her.

Finally, I was working on my Bible study. We're doing a Beth Moore study about insecurity, and this week she talks about choosing your reactions to things and changing your emotions. At the end, she talks about Paul and his desire to know Christ. She says, "The apostle Paul is both the ultimate idealist and the ultimate realist. He sees so clearly the fundamental goal of all who believe in Christ...to become like Him...But Paul is honest enough to note that he's not there yet."**

After a weekend like this, I'm confronted by how unfocused I've been. Rather, how I've been focused on all the wrong things. I worry about my friendships, my job, my future. I worry about whether my students will like me. Whether my friends think I matter. Whether my allergy swollen lip will scare off any potential suitors I'd be unlucky enough to run into right now.

Like Ludolf says, though, I should seek Christ until I'm worthy to find him. Because what I learned from good o'l Ludy and Beth is that focusing on Christ makes the things that seem insurmountable totally doable. When I do that, I become strong. Like Brooke, I can overcome the evil creeper stalking around me (aka Satan). And unlike Elizabeth, I become more accessible to others. My insecurities go away, and Christ becomes my strength.

Hopefully I'll remember that on Tuesday when my students glaze over, when I get self-conscious about my lip, or when I inevitably have another weekend of too little human interaction.

Happy Monday, everyone!

*The Christian Theology Reader, edited by Alister E. McGrath, page 81.
**So Long Insecurity, Group Experience, by Beth Moore, page 82.

It's Like I've Gone Insane

2012-01-27T09:07:00.001-08:00

I was wearing my favorite ever boyfriend jeans yesterday. You know, these ones:

It was beautiful out. My students were wearing shorts. I was taking Lizzy for super long walks just to be outside.

Today, it looks like this:

Seriously, guys. The slippery walks WERE hard to walk on.

In my head, I know that it's still January and that I should just be glad there was a day when I could break out those comfy jeans. Unfortunately for most of you, my head is not in control of my emotions, my thought processes, or most of my reactions/decisions. And the part of me that's in charge of all that is screaming "WHY ISN'T IT JULY ALREADY???"

I'm pretty sure January has lasted for at least 63-87 days. It cannot possibly be only 27 short days since December. It cannot. Because December was months and months ago.

Lizzy and I will be locking ourselves in the apartment until it stops snowing. For good. So probably not til June. Or July. My students can probably fend for themselves.

Beauty and the Beast

2012-01-25T08:25:00.001-08:00

Katherine and Jenn and I went to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D last night. Which was, of course, amazing.

Though I do feel bad for the 8 other people in the theater, because we were squealing and giggling and singing and drinking soda out of buckets. Also, there were some previews that were really funny, and then a short film about Tangled (the Rapunzel Disney movie, which was, by the way, also amazing). Jenn and I were laughing hysterically during all of these, and I think I snorted once or ten times.

It's interesting watching one of your favorite childhood movies as an adult. Because you pick up on all sorts of things that are fairly sketchy. For instance, a LOT of the women in that town Belle lived in were sporting some serious cleavage.

Also, if you are listening to the lyrics in Gaston's "This Is Why You Should Love Me" song (which I just titled, because I don't actually know the title), he is even more horrible than we thought. Apparently every last inch of him is covered in hair. He gives us a little glimpse, but Katherine and Jenn and I were throwing up into our popcorn at the thought. One of his bragging points is "expectorating," which means "to discharge matter from the throat or lungs by coughing or hawking and spitting." Ew. Also, he decorates with antlers.

What a catch.

We also had a lengthy discussion about the Disney princesses and princes. Specifically, that Belle is obviously the greatest. Hands down. But that she got stuck with the ugliest prince. People get all up in arms about how the moral is that if you love someone they'll turn into a handsome prince or something, but people. Have you LOOKED at that prince? He and Belle have the exact same hair. From behind, it'd be hard to tell the difference. Also, light shoots out of his toes. Which is never okay.

Katherine and Jenn both argued for Prince Eric, but I say Prince Philip. Either way, what we know is that they have names, which is more for Beast/Prince, and both of them seem to understand the value of good hair. Who's your favorite prince?

In conclusion, go see Beauty and the Beast. It's fun to be a kid again.

(P.S. I tried (not very hard) to find pictures of the Disney princes to show you. I was horrified (and laughing a lot) to find the only ones were of the Disney Princes as Chippendale strippers. I'm not kidding.)

Case of the Mondays

2012-01-23T08:10:00.001-08:00

I've been trying for hours to come up with something useful or important or even interesting for you to read. I've had fleeting thoughts of posts about Lizzy to posts about how I finally started watching Downton Abbey last night.

The thing is, I'm exhausted. Life has caught up with me and I'm tired. I've got some weird form of insomnia that makes me unable to get to sleep before midnight, sometimes later, even though I have to wake up early in the morning. And I can't seem to focus on things, which makes teaching interesting.

I don't know what exactly happened that hit me like this. Things are going well, for the most part, so it's not like I've had some big crisis or traumatic event. Sometimes I think maybe it's because I haven't gotten a break or a vacation in over a year. But then I think, "I know LOTS of people who haven't had a break or a vacation in over a year and they don't seem to be quickly wearing down." So maybe it's not that, or maybe it is and I just really need some quality beach time.

Yesterday, in hopes of cheering myself up, I figured out how many days it is until exciting things. All the countdowns were really high, though, so I ended up being more sad than happy.

And while I'm not necessarily running around full of joy and good thoughts, I wouldn't say I'm sad. It's not like depression. It's just an extreme weariness. A tiredness that sleep can't help.

It's a case of the Mondays that has lasted for about a month.

Hopefully something will give. I'll finally get a good night's sleep, or maybe it'll just be unseasonably warm for the rest of the winter.

Thank You, LFO

2012-01-20T08:01:00.000-08:00

The other day, I decided to just put my iPod on shuffle. Not on a specific playlist, just the whole thing. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but see, a while ago my friends and I were being very nostalgic about 90s music. Not good 90s music. The boy band, bubblegum pop kind of 90s music. And somehow, I ended up downloading some...interesting songs.

Like Summer Girls by LFO.

Do you remember that song? It was THE summer song (since we were all still pretty sad that Will Smith's Summertime was getting old), and all the girls just loved it. I was in high school, so I blame bad judgment. I also wore those tattoo necklaces and regularly put glittery butterfly clips in my hair. Anyway, at some point in high school I actually bought the cassette. Did you know that Summer Girls is BY FAR their best song? Even in high school I quickly realized the rest of the music on that tape really, really sucked.

(By the way, can you remember those lyrics? I remembered some, but I looked them up. Here's the full song. What we really need to discuss is how horrifically bad they are. "Hip hop marmalade spic and span." Hip hop marmalade? Like the jam? I mean, jelly? WAS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GOING FOR? That this is a hip hop JAM? OMG. Also, what's with the random pop culture references? "Macauley Culkin wasn't home alone" and "Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton" aren't necessarily romantic.)

Anyway, this song came on my iPod while I was driving to work, and I literally lost vision for awhile because I was laughing so hard I was crying. And then I got really excited to go home and watch the video (which was MUCH worse than I remembered--I had totally forgotten about Big Teeth Man who mostly just looks like he's going to assault you), and while I did that, the list of videos on the side were just calling my name.

For example: Do you remember 3LW (which apparently stands for 3 Little Women. Which is better than what LFO stands for. Lyte Funkie Ones. You can't make this stuff up.) and their song?

Or O-Town? Specifically, Ashley Angel (for those of you who had better taste in high school, or are not of the generation, that's a dude)?

But guys. I remember all these mostly with disdain. This is not good music. Though, neither is most of what gets played on the radio today. HOWEVER, I was then confronted with something special. Magical, even.

2gether.

Ah, yes. The MTV mockumentary band. Now that, dear friends, is good music.

"I know my calculus. It says you + me = us..."

Next week, I'll do something to restore your faith in my judgment. For now, let's just all laugh.

In Unrelated News...

2012-01-18T07:30:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome back to not so serious topics. I'd talk about serious topics, but I've been trying to figure out how to teach Theological Method in one day (instead of, I don't know, an entire semester), so all I see right now is the Wesleyan Quadrilateral. Oh, and my official "nerd card."

Thus, a list!

1. Today, Wikipedia, among many others, is shutting down their site to protest the SOPA/PIP acts. You can certainly click on any of the links those sites have up, but here is an article that goes to great lengths to explain it. Basically, I have to side with the Bloggess when I say I don't support it because I don't think dogs should have weapons. But you can go here to sign the petition to end SOPA/PIP. Do it. It's good for you.

2. I taught my first class yesterday! I mean, my first college class. I have taught other classes before. Anyway, it went well, I think. My students may disagree, but they laughed at my jokes (I'm almost positive at least half were real laughs) and they participated in our mini discussions. Most importantly, no one walked out. At one point, a girl got up to throw something away and I was absolutely convinced she was walking out. I literally stopped mid-sentence and stared at her. It was awkward.

3. Have you all been watching The Bachelor? No? Just me? Well, I'm going to talk about it anyway. Monday night, one of the girls I KID YOU NOT said, "On a scale of one to ten, I'm going to throw up." Now, you may or may not have known me long enough to know the phase I had when I liked to quote Gymclass Heroes when they said, "On a scale of one to awesome, I'm the sh*t." I have these things to say on the topic of comparing the two sayings:
a) On a scale of one to awesome, being the sh*t is completely rational. Because the sh*t may, in fact, be correlated to an 8. Or a 12, even.
2) On a scale of one to ten, throwing up is not completely rational. Throwing up is not another term for 5. Or even 7. I know that 7 eight 9, though I did not know that my third favorite elementary school joke would ever be used in an argument, but I do not think that 9 then threw up 10 and made this saying logical.
III) I am deeply, deeply concerned that a woman who is currently working on her PhD made the decision that she should not only be on the Bachelor, but that she should actually say "a bridge is connecting two opposites." I agree with Knox McCoy when I say I do not believe she should ever be eligible to receive her doctorate.

4. I know this is my second reference to my class, but guys, I made a reference to Dogma. Specifically, this guy

5. On Sunday, I was rollin with Ant and E (those are his words, friends, not mine. Mine would be "I went around Denver with Anthony and Erika. Also, I'm very white.") in Denver. We were doing research for Anthony's book (which is going to be pretty fantastic, so you should read it. You know, when it's done.), and suddenly, Anthony says, "Oh, no!" Because, dear friends, he had just driven over a squirrel. This conversation ensued:
Anthony: I think I just hit that squirrel! Oh, man, I totally did!
Erika: What are you doing?
Anthony: I'm going back to hit it again!
Erika: Why???
Anthony: Because it's not dead! I need to put it out of its misery!
Erika: I'm sure it's dead, Ant. Just keep driving.
Anthony: No! It's not! It's still quivering! Seriously, I think it just got up and performed the monologue from Hamlet. I just don't know where it got that skull from...
Erika: Anthony, you cannot go back to hit it. If you're going to go back, at least kill it so that we can preserve the meat and make squirrel stew later.
Anthony: We don't live in Ohio, E.
Erika: Oh, you're right. Coloradans don't do that. My bad.
Anthony: Okay, I'm going to hit it again...here goes.
Kristy: On a scale of one to ten, I'm going to throw up.

I hope you all have a great Wednesday! I'll be making power point presentations for class. There will definitely be explosions in it, and probably some clips from LOST.

Good Theology

2012-01-16T07:30:00.000-08:00

I know, it's been weeks of silly, light hearted posts. Sometimes I'd pretend like I was being serious, but it was a rouse. Sadly, school starts up this week (for CCU anyway), which means as of tomorrow I am officially a COLLEGE PROFESSOR and can no longer be silly and frivolous. I will now be using unnecessarily big words, I will only talk about theology and the German theologians you've never heard of, and I will be wearing a LOT of tweed.

Just kidding. :)

But seriously, today's post is a bit more serious than usual. Because I am a theologian, and thus I have a responsibility to address something when it starts to bother me. Maybe I'm using the word "responsibility" fairly loosely, but whatevs.

If you're on facebook, or the internet at all, you've probably seen that video Jesus > Religion. It's the hottest video since last week's hot video about Tebowing. Or something.

I had to watch it and think about it for awhile before I could really form an opinion. What the speaker is saying is interesting, and he's extremely talented, which ropes me in and makes me want to believe him. And I think that some of his points are valid, some are intriguing, and some really need to be talked about. But as a whole, I came to the conclusion that I didn't agree. I felt like his overall message was missing something.

I used to very loudly exclaim that I was a "Christ-follower" NOT a "Christian." I was all about telling people I loved Jesus, but I wasn't religious. Because I felt the church had done a lot of shady things and I was fresh out of college so I liked being all anarchist and whatnot. Plus, you know, I have an English degree, so I'm all about raging against the machine (wait...that's a band...that I like...whatever) and protesting and such. I wanted to live my life free of the "restraints" of what I saw as the Big Bad Religion.

Then, for reasons too complicated to explain, I went to seminary.

In case you're not aware, seminary is where they train PASTORS. Yup. Like, work in a church pastors. And other such religious people.

That's when I started going a little crazy dying my hair and getting whale tattoos and whatnot to make sure that EVERYONE knew I WAS NOT RELIGIOUS. I even wrote a whole paper about how I don't like church. For my professor who was a pastor. (I got an A. Take that.)

The thing is, I'm still not what one would call a "follower" of social norms. I like social norms. Without them we're all of a sudden living in Kevin Costner's The Postman and I have to start wearing fringe. I am not actually an anarchist, either, I just like to tell people I am. But what I learned in my time at seminary is the difference between what I was calling "religion" and what the Bible tells us about.

My friend Denise is pretty good with Old Testament things and is very smart, and so she usually finds good articles before I do. (Also because she's not a slacker like me.) So she posted this to facebook, which is a response to the Jesus > Religion video. I read it, and for the most part, I agree with it. (I never fully agree with anything. It's my leftover anarchistness. But also, I really don't agree with ALL of that article. Such as his understanding of sola fide, which I can get into a long discussion about later.)

That's about when I decided to write you an unreasonably long post about the video. So you can go blame Denise or that other blogger.

When we say that we hate religion, or when we say that Jesus came to "abolish religion," what we're doing is reading the Bible 100% through our cultural lense. We're looking at what religion is today, or simply our own perception of what religion is, and we're making a judgment about religion for over 2,000 years. We're also saying that we, regardless of our degrees, IQ, or occupation, are much smarter than 2,000 years of theologians who spent their life researching what we have made a judgment about in 10 minutes.

I am not that smart. And no offense, but I doubt you are either.

When I was in my Theological Methods class, we discussed the Creeds. Specifically the Nicene Creed and the Apostle's Creed. These creeds have been passed down for millenia, and have been substantial in shaping the Church and the practices and beliefs of the Christian life. They are very important (so go read them at least). But one student argued, "They are not the Bible. We should not place so much importance on them."

I understand where this student was coming from. Our #1 source for theology should be the Bible, because that's God's revelation of himself to us. However, it's really hard to understand the Bible. Firstly, because we are reading translations, so some words are different and may not fully convey what the original text said. Second, because the Bible was written a long, long, long time ago in a different country. These people hadn't even heard of FRIENDS or LOST or any of those shows I accidentally base my life on! I know, I'm sad for them, too. But they were coming from a totally different place, and we tend to forget that they weren't exactly like us. Thirdly, God is complicated, y'all. I know, because I took a whole class just called "Doctrine of God" and it was REALLY HARD. And I left pretty sure I didn't even remember how to spell God. Which is sad, cause it's three letters.

Luckily, God didn't JUST give us the Bible. He also gave us the ability to read, study, research, and learn. He then gave some people A LOT of those things, and they spent literal YEARS doing that. (I. Would. Die.) They sat in libraries, studying, reading, learning. Talking to each other. Arguing. Some even DIED over this stuff.

What I get really mad about is how lazy we've become. We are a culture over-saturated in information, with the ability to read ANYTHING WE WANT. So we read Harry Potter. (Don't worry. I love Harry Potter. You can, too.) We watch tv, and we read 10 paragraph articles on the internet. Because bullet points are, obviously, the best way to learn. (Sarcasm...) We ignore all those people who came before us. Those men and women who, from numerous cultures and time periods and difficulties and churches, spent their whole lives trying to figure this stuff out and then wrote it down so we could read and argue and learn, too.

My favorite paragraph in this article, (this one...seriously, go read it, and then ask me about sola fide so we can talk about it, and anything else you want) is the very last one. He says, "So, please don't get your theology from the internet." Which is true. Please don't get your theology from me, either. Get it from Martin Luther, who hated what the church had become and decided to DO something about it. Get it from Karl Barth or Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who both lived in Germany during Hitler's reign. Bonhoeffer died in a concentration camp for his beliefs, so he's got some serious stuff to say. Get your theology from Augustine, who struggled through a serious bad boy past to become one of the most influential theologians of all time.

I know you don't have tons of time to read up on all this. I also know that Karl Barth wrote a 13 volume systematic theology, so it's not light reading. But I also know that there are pastors out there with masters or even doctorates in this stuff. There are others, too, who have studied and know a bunch. And I know that the good ones (like me, hehe) would die of happiness to sit down and talk with you about ANY of this.

If you don't know where to start, or if you just want good recommendations on books, PLEASE ask me. I have a decent starting point of knowledge, and I'm friends with about 20 people who have doctorates in this, so I can find out whatever you need. And if you're totally intimidated by any of this, don't be. Because what Jesus wanted was for his people (that's all of us, btw) to come together and be a body. Not just individual people walking around doing their own thing. Some of us are fingers, some are ears, some are livers. We weren't meant to do this on our own.

In short...nope...long, that was really, really long...that's what I learned in seminary. I had some bad experiences with church. I knew people who had REALLY BAD experiences in church. I also have a personality that screams "I WANNA BE UNIQUE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" so I get not wanting to identify as "organized religion." But what I learned was that life like that is small and, no offense, ignorant. So be part of the body. Embrace the Church. Love Jesus AND religion.

It's Friday!

2012-01-13T07:30:00.000-08:00

Oh, Rebecca Black. I just have no words.

That's not true at all. I have words. Words like "ridiculous" and "freaking hilarious."

It's Friday, guys! Guess what that means? It means a lot of things, but right now it means I'm going to write you a list! Because it's what I do best.

1. This particular Friday is extra exciting because not only is it Brunch Day with Ashley and Denise, but it's Go See Mission: Impossible 4 Day. The middle part of the day is Get Your Lesson Plans Done, Worst College Professor Ever Day. That part is less exciting.

2. Tomorrow is the Bronco game. I am...terrified. Because we're probably going to lose, but I wish we wouldn't. I am doing all the things I can think of to please the football gods, but since they don't really exist, it's rather difficult. I only know one source of comfort to turn to in times of trouble like these.

Sigh...I miss him.

3. My New Year's resolution this year was to instate a laissez faire attitude about many things, which really lasted about .02 seconds because then Matt called me with Other People's Drama (Matt and I love Other People's Drama as long as we don't have to touch it with a ten foot pole), so my second resolution was to stop being fat. (Somehow "stop being fat" sounds easier than "get skinny.") So far, the diet is going exceptionally well, I must say! I haven't even cheated yet! However, the working out part is less good because my gym membership expired. And I keep walking past my apartment's workout center and thinking, "There are three people in there. That is too many. I'll come back when no one is there." And then I don't go back.

4. Lorelai Gilmore is still my hero, but now she pretends her name is Sarah. But it's okay, because I really love Parenthood, too. But still, I love Lorelai a lot, and when I was trying to see if YouTube would recommend something to me other than Buffy videos, I found this gem of Lorelai and Ellen playing Pictionary. This solidified in my mind that my ultimate goal is actually to become Lorelai.

5. Approximately one person will care about this, but guys, it's the FINAL SEASON of One Tree Hill. I watched the first episode of it today and I have things I need to say. Things mostly revolving around the words "what?" and "seriously, what?" It was easily the most confused I've been during a one hour drama, and I own the entire series of LOST. The episode started with a bunch of people talking about murder, a building on fire, and Hailey looking at a dead body. WHAT? And then, the rest of the episode DID NOT REFERENCE any of it! I imagine that's some future thing going on, but this is not how OTH normally operates. It makes me long for the days of Lucas Scott narrating the show with some great literary quotes and the massive amounts of basketball. I can only imagine what Joel McHale will say...

The rest of my brain is filled with whether or not I should pretend to be a student and then freak out my class when I stand up and start lecturing. Or if I should lecture with a British accent and then slowly phase it out. Or if I should go buy some tweed...

Happy Friday the 13th!!

Mmm...Snow.

2012-01-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

Guys, I've been crazy busy the last few days pretending that I'm diligently working on my class I have to teach in less than a week. Pretending to work is SO HARD.

Because of that, I hadn't had time to get a bloggy up for you by the hour of 7:30am, when I'm not even actually awake yet. (You are so jealous of my schedule right now, aren't you? And I'm not even being sarcastic.) But then I woke up and looked outside and realized that it was snowing again, so I started cursing the weather and thinking about how I really need to start saving up for my winter home in Cali. I got all ready for work, brushed off my car, and started out.

In case you were unaware, I drive a Ford Focus. Her name is Lola, because she used to be a prostitute. (Rental car.) I have had Lola for going on 6 years now, and she's been really good to me. She has 18 bajillion miles on her now from the 3 years of commuting from Colorado Springs to Denver, but other than that, she's basically the same young thing I got off the corner of South Platte.

Lola, however, does not have four wheel drive, and since the city of Littleton and probably every other area near Denver had decided to not plow even a little, I got stuck a number of times. Not kidding. More than once. Got stuck. It was fun times, you guys. After a half hour of driving and I was still only about a mile from my house, I turned around and went home. Because my boss loves me and would probably be sad if I died trying to get to the office so I could sit around and make fun of people in my head.

That was a really long way of saying that I am home today, so I no longer curse the weather. That's actually not true...I do curse the weather because I still have to walk Lizzy in it, and at some point I will be tired of being home. If anyone is bored and wants to come rescue me from the boredom that is my apartment, I promise to change out of my sweats.

Can it be June now? Please? I need a tan.

This Is Bananas

2012-01-09T07:30:00.000-08:00

Yes, I did quote Gwen Stefani just then. Because who else is appropriate in such a time as this?

Guys, this will surprise 0% of you, but as Demarius Thomas ran down the field, and Kyle stood 1 foot in front of the tv fist pumping while Jill jumped up and down on the couch, I...got dizzy and fell on the floor.

I apparently had such a head rush that I landed on the floor, so I watched the winning touchdown from the sideways position as I tried to get back up.

Again, this surprises no one.

That, plus my general inability to focus on anything other than the syllabus/lesson plans I'm dutifully working on, mean I have little to actually share with you.

Go watch Boombox. It's the best way to deal with life, I think.

There is something serious that I have been thinking about lately, though. My Bible study is going through this book by Beth Moore called So Long Insecurity. It's about finding your security in God and not letting all the lies of the world affect you and how you live. I think it's really important stuff, especially for women. (I know guys have insecurities, but guess what they don't have? Photoshopped, unrealistic versions of themselves staring at them while they buy Cap'n Crunch.) One thing that I've really come to think about through it is how important it is to be secure in God in all aspects. Not just how I look or the amazing charm I possess ("amazing charm" stands for "really weird quirks" few people really know how to deal with), but in all the situations I face. If I trust in God that my theology class will go well and that I will glorify Him by teaching it, then I can be secure in it. I don't need to worry.

We were also talking about the disciples last night, and how they demonstrated confidence in God throughout their lives. We talked about how, right after Christ died, they were locked up in their house. Were they scared? Probably. Should they have been? Again, I think so. But does that mean they weren't confident in God? I don't know. I don't know what was going through their minds, or if locking themselves in the house was the right decision or not. What I do know is that God was with them, either way. He came to that house to see them, and then He remained with them throughout their lives. We can be confident that if we trust in God, the world doesn't need to be so scary.

Deep Dark Secrets

2012-01-04T07:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

(It's not even the first paragraph, and I'm going totally off topic here. Do you ever get a song so stuck in your head that one single word will trigger you singing it? I do. And currently, that song is "Friends and Lovers" by Incubus. So when I wrote "friends" I almost wrote "and lovers." But then I thought about it and decided you all might be concerned that I have multiple lovers. Or any lovers. Or that I'm openly telling them that there is more than one. So instead, I wrote this paragraph. You're welcome. And I'm sorry.)

It's deep dark secret revealing time. (Did you know there's a time for that? It's now. Feel free to leave yours in the comments section.)

It's no secret that I loved loved loved (and still love love love) LOST. I mean, that is seriously the most brilliant show that has ever existed on tv. And if you disagree, consider yourself defriended by me. Unless you're going to argue that it's second only to Friday Night Lights, and then we can agree to disagree but know that we have excellent taste in tv. I loved it for so many reasons that would put this blog on the border of being a long novella, so I'll spare you from all those reasons for the time being. Except for this one. Or six.

Gah. So handsome.

Anyway, ONE (for reals this time) reason I loved the show was because of the community of it. It's not every show that you can sit around with your friends and talk about for literal hours on end. Debating whether Ben Linus is evil or misunderstood, trying to figure out what the Smoke Monster is, or having a strongly worded discussion on whether Kate should end up with Sawyer or Jack...oh, the memories. And not only could I do this with my real life friends, but I could also spend (Deep Dark Secret Number #1: I can be a huge nerd sometimes) hours reading blogs (specifically by Doc Jensen) about LOST and recapping the episode. Doc would have me gasping and wishing I was as smart as he is and applauding myself the whole five times I realized something before reading it in his recap. And then my friends and I would talk about the blogs and which we liked best and what it all meant and how LOST was single handedly changing our lives.

Sigh...I've forgotten the point of this post. I think I need an unnecessary picture of Tim Riggins to reign me back in...

Better.

Lucky for me, and for you apparently, I have found a new show that lets me sit and talk to friends and read blogs and ponder deep thoughts again.

Deep Dark Secret #2:
This show is The Bachelor/ette.

Okay, here's the thing. I loathe this show. I think it's horrible that there are actual people out there who think this stuff is romantic or real or even mildly appropriate. I think it's atrocious that it's been going on for years.

But I can't stop watching the train wreck of it all.

AND I've found some pretty hilarious and completely true blogs (like this, this, and this). People who watch the show, talk about all the things Heather and Jill and I say while we watch it after Bible study (kid you not), and discuss the fact that The Bachelor/ette is the most self-unaware show in the history of the world.

I don't know what it is about this show that has inspired so many people to write about it, but the writing is good. And I get to read sentences like this, "Am I the only one noticing how Ben's hair is transforming the spiritual ancestor of Ted's hair from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?"

There you have it. My deep dark secret. That maybe you already knew about. But let me just say, I think there's something about watching a show you can also talk about. Instead of just mindlessly staring at the pretty lights and whatnot for however long you watch tv, you pay attention to the words, the details, and then you debate with people the meanings behind them.

Granted, my debates over The Bachelor/ette are far less intelligent and much more likely to cause my IQ to lower, but I don't care. If you want, I can also debate the absurdity of dispensationalism.

(Nothing like winning an argument by using an excessively big word.)

And in case you're wondering, I am also considering writing an entire post on why Happy Endings is one of the greatest comedies on tv right now. That and Cougar Town. Seriously, guys, it's amazing.

Welcome to 2012!

2012-01-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

Guys, according to the Mayans, this is the last year ever. So we'd best make it a good one.

Luckily, I got to fulfill a lifelong dream of stepping back into the 20s in order to ring in the new year. We were all dolled up and ready to put on the Ritz. And we did.

Don't worry. Those ciggys are fake.

I then spent the first day of the "last year ever" watching football, eating bad food, planning on my 2012 diet, and pondering when I would build up the motivation to take down the Christmas decorations. This, friends, is why I don't decorate for many holidays. Cause then you have to undecorate.

2011 was a really stressful year for me. As I looked through my calendar, as I do every year, I realized that it was about every 2 months that some huge stressful event would pop up. I think that's why I feel tired all the time now. 2011 took it out of me. So while I can't say that I don't want 2012 to be stressful, since I have no idea what will come of the year, I do want to focus on doing things to help me better prepare or deal with the stress. One of those ways is to be healthier physically (diet, oh how I already hate you). But the other is to take time to appreciate things around me.

I want to be better--much better--about my quiet times with God. He got me through so much last year, and while I am daily grateful for that, I want to make sure I'm growing my relationship with Him. I want to make sure that He's my priority and that I'm dependent on Him and not other people.

I have great friends, and some of them I have sadly taken for granted. I want to be better about being their friend. While I was in Colorado Springs for Christmas, I realized how much I miss my friends and life in Denver. I realized that while I have great Springs friends, I have really built a good support system here in Denver and I want to be more supportive of them, too.

For a number of reasons, Lizzy spent a good 2 weeks in the Springs with my parents. It was good for both of us, but I really missed her. And she is so happy to be home now. Which makes my heart happy, but I also want to make it a priority that Lizzy and I are far more settled than we've ever been. I don't have any good reasons to be the flighty nomad I've been for the past 10 years, and it's taking a toll on my dog. So this year, I'm going to build a home. I don't know what that looks like, but I do know that for the first time ever, I want to put down some roots. That scares and excites me all at the same time.

I have high hopes for 2012. I mean, no year can be bad when you have a Buffy the Vampire Slayer calendar hanging on your wall, but I also just feel a big difference in it already. Come what may, I'm ready for the adventure!

Nostalgia Part 3

2011-12-30T08:27:00.000-08:00

Once again, welcome to past blogs. It's almost New Year's, which means it's almost time for the Roaring 20s New Years Party Denise and I are throwing. You should come. It'll be the berries.

This one's a bit more serious, but I think it's good to go into the new year with this goal in mind.

And come back next week for new and exciting posts! Or, new and really boring posts. I can't make too many promises.

March, 2011

Yesterday, I was at the grocery store, wandering around the produce section. (I know. Shocking. I had to bring a salad to study last night. Thus, strawberries were needed.) While I was wandering (I don't often buy strawberries), I overheard a conversation. It was between two unlikely people, and it was such a great conversation, I wandered in their vicinity a little longer, just to hear. And then I wanted to come home immediately and tell everyone I knew.

The first person in this conversation was a young man, probably about my age. Maybe a couple years younger. He was tall and blonde, most girls would consider him very attractive. He was athletic, and even wearing a hoodie for whatever team he played/plays for. To be completely honest and bare all my normal judgments, he was the type of guy who I would normally expect to be a tool. I'm really glad I heard this conversation before deciding that, though.

The second person was a woman. She had long grey hair, which probably hadn't been washed or combed recently. She was wearing tattered clothes, not quite tattered enough to think she was homeless, just to show she is poor. And she was clearly a woman that had lead a very difficult, probably unlucky life.

When I first walked by them, the woman was saying, "I just have to thank you." This struck me, as I couldn't imagine what she was thanking the man for. And this wasn't a thank you like he had helped her get something off the top shelf. This was a really heartfelt thank you. I then heard her explain that she has been in some type of rehab program. None that I've heard of, but it gives her different challenges. One of these was to say hello to a stranger.

From what I gather, she decided to say hello to the young man. And apparently, he was extremely kind and receptive to her hello. She told him that she was terrified of this challenge, that she really thought it was going to be embarrassing and difficult. She was afraid the person she chose would be mean to her. But this man had been kind, and she was truly grateful. She told this man her life story (I wandered around the produce section for probably 10 minutes, and they were talking the entire time, and long after I left.) and explained just how much it meant to her that he was so nice.

If it was me, I really hope I would have been this nice. But I doubt it. I probably would have tried to get away as fast as possible. I probably would have made an excuse or given her a fake smile and escaped. But this young man stayed and listened, and what's more, encouraged her. He told her he was proud of her for saying hello, and that he thought it was a great challenge. He told her she shouldn't be afraid of saying hello to strangers.

I wanted to say something to him, to tell him just how impressed I was, but as I mentioned, they talked for a long time. So the most I could do was to just smile at him, and go about my shopping.

During my quiet time this morning, I read Ephesians 4:1-2. It says, "Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love." This young man was an amazing example of walking worthy. I'm going to try to do the same.

Nostalgia Part 2

2011-12-28T08:19:00.000-08:00

Today's nostalgia is brought to you by my dear puppy, Lizzy. She's a sweet dog, really. I promise. This, from September 2010, was not our best day.

Thanks, Lizzy

Dear friends. I must tell you about the worst moment of my life. (Mind you, I'm prone to melodramatic recounting of events. But I promise you everything actually happened. I'm just very ridiculous about said happenings.)

My dear, sweet little dog, Lizzy, is constantly trying to show me she is a good, loving, worthy dog. I have learned a lot from her because of this.

This is not one of those times. This happening could have very well never happened and I would be the same amount of mature and smart.

It started with me accidentally setting my alarm for 7pm instead of 7am. When I woke up at 8:30, with 30 minutes to get up, get dressed, and get to work, I decided to forgo a shower. So at 6pm, I finally was able to shower. It was a nice shower. Relaxing, since I had hours before I had to be anywhere. I got out, put some sweats on, and was mostly just moseying about.

Then I walked toward my bedroom and saw the saddest of all faces on my dog. It basically was a look that said, "I think I did something bad..." I said, "Lizzy...what did you do?" And she immediately jumped off my bed and crawled toward me, tail between her legs. Of course, I wasn't really sure what was happening, so I looked at the bed. I expected there to be something chewed up--like my pillow or something. At the very worst, I thought maybe she'd had an accident.

I was wrong.

It was this:

(This is not the actual bird. I was in no presence of mind to take a picture of the actual bird. Also, the one on my bed did not have a head. So it was, in fact, much worse.)

Yup. A dead bird. On. my. bed.

I'll let you all squirm and throw up and whatnot. It took me 20 minutes to calm down enough to think about doing something about the bird.

Things you should know about me: 1) I hate birds. HATE them. I think that ones in houses are likely to peck my eyes out. I think that wild ones are likely to spread diseases. I find no bird endearing or charming. 2) I hate dead things. Dead bugs gross me out. 3) According to my Myers Briggs type, one of the reactions to stress that I have is to become hysterical.

So hysterical me ran around the house making horrible noises like, "AHHH! EEWWWW! GAAACKK!!!" My poor dog, who was probably just trying to show me she loves me, was horrified and hiding under the bed. It was a very difficult 20 minutes for us.

At some point, I began calling every living person who I thought might live close enough to come rescue me. No one came. My friends are actually horrible people. (Just kidding. But not.) Every single person that actually answered their phone spent at least the first 5 minutes in a fit of laughter. Which mostly just sent me into more hysterics. I left a message for one person that was so unintelligible, only the words "dog" "bed" and "dead" were picked out. You can imagine what he thought that message was about.

At some point, my brother (after he stopped laughing, that is) told me how to dispose of the bird. I was to take a few plastic bags and pretend I was picking up Lizzy's poop.

Instead I threw a plastic bag over the bird (so I couldn't see it), and threw away my entire comforter. Because there is no way I could ever sleep with that again anyway. Plus, this way I didn't have to know what dead bird felt like.

I then had to spend the next half hour consoling my poor dog, telling her I really appreciated that she wanted to give me a present, but that next time it should be a dandelion. Or a clump of grass. (I was being reasonable with what she could get. See? Logic.) Or a branch. No things that were at one point alive. Or are still alive. (Because while a headless dead bird on one's bed is not a pleasant time, a half dead, flopping around bird would be SO. MUCH. WORSE.)

I also did not sleep in my bed last night.

And at one point I was in a bathroom that was "decorated" with birds. I have never peed, washed my hands, and run out of a bathroom so fast in my life.

I also am currently living in fear that I'm going to find that bird's head somewhere. I'm having issues lifting blankets.

Lizzy has made a full recovery from the events. Hopefully someday, so will I.

Things you should know about this post. That bird picture makes me want to die, but I felt it was necessary. I apologize if it also makes you want to die. Also, recounting this experience makes me a little hysterical again. If you'd like to come to my house and search for that head, I'd really appreciate it. And finally, if you have a comforter you'd like to donate to me, I'd appreciate that.

Nostalgia Part 1

2011-12-26T08:15:00.000-08:00

Hello, friends! Did you all have happy and merry Christmases? I hope so. Mine was great. Good family times and whatnot.

Since it is technically my Christmas vacay, and since I'm spending it working for my parents, I will be re-posting some favorite blogs from days gone by. Today's is brought to you by my incredible laziness when it comes to getting ready. Enjoy!

From March, 2009

Dear Mr. Right,
I know that I've been looking for you--though it might seem like I'm not looking very hard. I'm busy, after all. A girl has to get good grades in Seminary if she wants ample Jesus-points. But I know that you understand that, being Mr. Right and all.

I know I've been praying for you to stop by sometime soon. I would very much like you to kill the fly that has been buzzing around my room as of late. And I need someone with a good vacuum to clean my car. And I have some other handyman type projects you could be handy for.

But please, oh please don't come today.

When I decided yesterday it was about time to get my eyebrows to look more like eyebrows and less like caterpillars, I should have not been watching Scrubs at the same time. The large hole in my right brow is constantly mocking me. And the only slightly smaller hole in my left brow may be trying to catch up.

I also believed that once you had the chicken pox, you couldn't get them again. However, by all the lovely red bumps on my face, I assume this is wrong. After all, a girl doesn't get the worst acne of her life at 25.6 years old. It just doesn't work that way.

And the fact that I'm wearing a sweater you can see through in parts makes me look a bit homeless. Don't worry, it's over another shirt so there's no inappropriateness going on. However, I do appear to have forgotten how to shop. And trust me, that is far from the truth.

Even though I don't remember hacking away at my bangs with a cleaver, it appears that is what happened. I actually don't even remember trimming them, but nevertheless, they are far worse today than they have ever been.

So please, Mr. Right, stay away until I am presentable again. I promise, I usually don't look like a 5 year old styled me. I promise I usually have decent skin. And I promise I usually don't have to draw on my eyebrows.

We can meet next week. I think that will be significantly better.

Love,
Kristy

Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas

2011-12-23T08:11:00.001-08:00

Christmas is in two days. Good news, though! My Christmas presents are mostly bought/done/etc. I had the most productive day yesterday. (Seriously. I did four loads of laundry AND put all the clothes away. AND the clothes I didn't put away last time I did laundry.)

I have great grand Christmasy plans for the day, so I don't have much time to chat. But I wanted to wish you all a very happy Christmas, and leave you with a little Christmas cheer. Click here to enjoy.

The Red Fox is Jesus

2011-12-21T09:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my friend Megan and I went to the Denver Art Museum. I love that place. I go pretty frequently (though not as frequently as I wish), and I have favorites in all the rooms. Megan is SUPER smart, too, so she explained all sorts of symbolism and whatnot in the medieval paintings, so now when you and I go, I can tell you who the people are and how it's not very nice that they always make Peter wear yellow.

After the DAM, we went to this British pub nearby called Pints. It has British flags outside, and a red phone booth even! I was basically transported back to Wee Britain, and I kept looking for a flying Mary Poppins to hit me. (People, watch Arrested Development. It will change your life.) We had good drinks and food and I got to order my burger in a British accent. (Though I'm not sure the waitress appreciated that.)

Also, did you all know Christmas is in FOUR DAYS? I apparently did not, as I am not even close to done with my shopping. I blame the whole not being in school thing. Because if I was in school, I'd be procrastinating my homework by doing Christmas shopping. Now, all I can procrastinate is the shopping.

In case you are in my boat and thinking, "Oh, dear. WHAT do I get Kristy for Christmas?" I have some pretty fabulous suggestions.

You know how sometimes you're talking on your cellphone and you think, "How can I look more like Lenny Kravitz?" Well, I often think this. So here's the perfect thing! A vintage phone you can plug into your smart phone!

Sometimes my showers are just not humorous enough. Something that helps me wake up in the morning is a good, hearty laugh. Preferably because of a joke a 5 year old would make. Thus, this shower accessory is the PERFECT thing!

Perhaps you actually don't want to get me a gift. Perhaps you want to get one for Lizzy. She's real picky, but I think she'd really love this gift. I mean, what dog DOESN'T want a blanket with sleeves?

I'm bound and determined to get back in shape this year, since I failed miserably at that this year. Probably it's because I wasn't hot enough. I bet that'll motivate me...

Also, I have finally figured out why the boys don't come to my yard. It's because I've never made a milkshake. So probably what I need to start attracting those fellows is this handy milkshake maker. That'll do the trick for sure. Plus, it'll help with the getting back in shape business. Or something.

I hope this list was handy, guys. Remember, I also will always accept Bronco tickets. Or an actual Bronco.

Monday Musings: Christmas

2011-12-19T07:30:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas week, y'all.

I don't know what that means. I mean, it's not like there will be more hype, as the Christmas hype starts earlier than is reasonable. And as my t-shirt featuring Oscar the Grouch and the word "Humbug" will attest, I'm not the "Christmas-type."

I do know I have tons to do this week. Tons of work and tons of play, both of which make me exceedingly glad and tired. It is busy weeks like this that give me energy for the weeks when I just sit around. Being an extrovert is hard sometimes.

But something I've been thinking about lately--because of where I work and where I went to school--is how I should really be celebrating. Since I have a Masters in Jesus.

Do I put up a tree? Do I have Santa stuff around? Santa's claws, maybe? (Blogger is being dumb, so I can't just link it. So go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfrhFkz0hrs) I mean, I already know I have to put the wise men FAR FAR away from the manger in my nativity set. But what about the rest of it? Can I even celebrate Christmas, since you know, Jesus was probably born in the spring?

Sometimes I think we can get bogged down in being prim and proper. We get afraid of sounding too "pagan" or ritualistic. We get worried that if we continue in traditions from the ancient days, we'll somehow lose our status as modern, scientific people. Like they'll take points off our IQ if we admit we're a little afraid of the dark.

When I get like this, I like to remember two things. One is that it's probably best to not over-analyze every little thing. Sometimes rituals are really nice, because they remind us of the centuries of people before us who also celebrated Jesus' birth at this time. I think there is something special and important about realizing that doing some rituals connects us to those who came before.

Secondly, I think it's important to remember that while science is helpful in so many areas, there's a whole world we can't see, that we can't explain. And that we, as humans, are limited in our understanding. We can only know so much. The rest is to be learned later. So it's okay if we celebrate with symbolism, because symbolism lets us recognize our limitations. Symbolism lets us acknowledge that there is Someone bigger and that we just do our best to glorify him.

I like a lot of rituals at Christmas--going to church and then looking at people's decorated houses. Lighting candles at the Christmas Eve service. Getting my giant family together to be loud and crazy. Sometimes I even like seeing it snow. But mostly, I like to remember that the specific date, nativity set, and "details" don't have to be exactly right. As long as we remember what these celebrations symbolize, we can put the wise men near the manger, we can leave cookies for Santa, and we can even celebrate on the wrong day.

Raw

2011-12-16T08:05:00.000-08:00

Real true to life conversation:

Me: I need to go to the grocery store.

Jill: You've been saying that for five days now.

Me: Yeah, but now I'm also out of shampoo and conditioner. So now, the non-grocery shopping may actually affect other people.

Jill: What is it again that makes you hate grocery shopping?

Me: Really...everything. But mostly because when you buy food at a grocery store, you're then required to cook it. Wait! I know! I'll go on that raw food diet!

Jill: Seriously?

Me: Yeah, what does one eat on the raw food diet?

Kyle: Oysters. Carrots.

Me: Disgusting.

Katherine: Sushi?

Kyle: No, cause the rice is cooked.

Jill: Sushi without the rice?

Me: Okay, let me amend this statement. I'm going on the raw for me food diet. I can eat things other people cook, but I can't actually cook anything.

Katherine: That's called the lazy diet.

Awkward Questions

2011-12-14T08:11:00.000-08:00

Lately, I feel people have been asking me a lot of awkward questions. This hadn't phased me until I was going through a list of conversations I'd had recently, trying to think if anything was interesting enough to tell you.

Because my life is extremely boring, I have to sit and ponder conversations I have.

But LUCKY FOR YOU! I apparently invite awkward conversations.

Like, such as:

"Hey, I like that skirt!" Anonymous Professor Who Shall Remain Nameless and Redundant

"Thanks...it's a dress." (Because the conversation happened right as I was walking into the bathroom and I felt awkward.)

"What's the difference?" Hmm....

Back in college, I wrote this very funny and informative creative essay on how I'm tongue tied. (No lie. Also, click on that link. Apparently someone took a picture of my tongue without my permission. Rude.) After I read through it in my Creative Non-Fiction class, my professor stopped, looked at me in all seriousness, and said:
"But how do you make out?"

One of my other professors, whom we call Sheldon from time to time, came out to my desk one day and said, "Is it soup yet?"

I can't even begin to explain that one.

At my brother's Christmas party, I realized I knew someone from somewhere. You know, when you see a person and realize you used to hang out with that person, possibly even had their phone number, and now you cannot for the life of you remember their name. So, being resourceful and all, I said to my niece (she's 24), "Lauren. Go ask that kid his name." She came back and said, "His name is Matt. Do you know why you know him?"

I once counted all the Matts I was in direct contact with--either because I saw them at least once a week or had their number. It was 13.
"His name is Matt? Go find out his last name!"

She did. She's a good niece.

(Oh, and it was all true. I did know him. And hung out with him. And had his number, too. But many years ago, so it wasn't so awful that I didn't remember him now.)

Monday Musings: Believe

2011-12-12T08:04:00.000-08:00

Dear friends,

I have made the decision that I will blog about Tim Tebow in 2013. Because at that point, it will be relevant and news-worthy...or less annoying for me to talk about. In case you aren't aware, my dear friend and local weatherman Matthew Kruger only calls to talk to me about this. I have stopped taking his calls. It's for the best.

I am going to talk about faith and believing, though, mostly because I keep seeing those words on my facebook after what was the most. ridiculous. game. ever.

In the fourth quarter, with about 2 minutes to go, I was talking to my mom about how we had lost this game. Because we had. Chicago had the ball, and in the NFL, if you're winning and you have the ball at 1:30, you can just run the clock out. You don't even really have to make much of a play. But instead, Marion Barber accidentally went out of bounds, which stopped the clock and then Chicago couldn't run the time out.

(On a total side note, I would like to personally thank Caleb Hanie for what he did for Marion Barber. I get super ridiculously emotional about football sometimes, and while I sit around yelling for stabbings and breaking of limbs and whatnot, whenever they show a player who did something stupid or just lost the Superbowl, I get so sad. So when they kept showing poor Barber over and over and over, I was basically crying. It was terrible. But then Hanie went over and sat next to Barber, patted his knee and talked to him. They talked a little, Barber obviously upset, and then Hanie patted his leg again. It was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen football players do. Okay, side note over.)

Then we won in overtime.

Aside from the fact that this season will lead to my early demise, it keeps happening that we win like this. When all hope is lost, when fans should normally be saying, "Well, I guess we should start heading to the car now," the Broncos pull together, make ridiculous plays, and then Prater kicks like he's the second coming of Jason Elam.

I appreciate the second coming of Jason Elam. I missed that guy.

Here's where I link football to life in general. What does this mean for us? Is it possible God is teaching us something through the crazy game of football? (1. Yes. He can teach us things through anything. He's God. He gets to do that. 2. No. I do not believe God is miraculously causing the Broncos to win because Tebow prays hard. Guess what? I bet you $5 there are Christians on the Bears team praying just as hard. Tebow does not have a more direct line to God than anyone else.) I think the lesson I'm learning here is that God wants us to give up our notion of "impossible." We walk around limiting ourselves all the time--"I can't get that job; it's impossible," or "I could never go back to school; it's impossible." We think we can't do things, that people won't believe in us, or that some situation is "hopeless."

After the game last night, someone asked Champ Bailey if he "doubted" they could win last night. He said no. He doesn't give up until he walks off the field. Well, maybe we shouldn't either.

Oh, Pinterest

2011-12-09T09:01:00.000-08:00

Guys, I spent a literal three hours on Pinterest last night. Three. Hours. But it was worth it. Because I found this:

Omg, I laughed for like 10 minutes. I also found a whole lot of other really hilarious things, and spent seriously at least a half hour just looking at Harry Potter pins, wondering how many I could pin without causing alarm.

Luckily, I don't work on Fridays so the fact that I was up until midnight doing this has yet to really affect me.

Unluckily, I've been wishing and hoping for a nice relaxing morning. My dog has other ideas. These include 1) Going for a walk. 2) Getting treats. 3) Going for another walk. 4) Chasing bunnies.

I'm not a fan of her list. I am a fan of Joey.

Seriously, guys. Three. Hours.

Have you all been getting in the Christmas mood? I tried. I put decorations up, and I even listened to a Pandora "Indie Holiday Songs" Station yesterday, but so far I still just want to be on the beach. It didn't help when I watched Modern Family and they were laying by the pool on December 16. I live in the wrong state, y'all.

In an attempt to restore my holiday spirit, I'll probably go back to Pinterest, pretending like I'm going to look for crafty things. Or holiday things. But instead, I'll keep pinning things to my "Happies" board. Things like this:

Weak

2011-12-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

I had to take a sick day today, which in my world means, I have to make up the hours I missed or I don't get paid.

It's a good job until you wake up feeling that your throat took a trip to hell last night.

So what did I do with my sick day? Pretty much nothing. It was adventurous.

Last night, before my body began to shut down, I got to see some of my favorite people. That would be my girls' Bible study. We've been meeting for about a year now, and I've gotten to know these girls fairly well. Right now, we're doing a study on insecurity. I don't know if you're aware of this, but girls are insecure. All of us. So guys, if you're reading this, just remember. Girls are insecure. Okay, you can go read about football now.

Anyway.

We just finished studying Esther, which has long been one of my favorite Bible stories. I even really liked the Veggie Tales movie, though I can't remember how accurate it is, so please don't take this as some stamp of theological approval. Anyway, I remember liking it because it was a story about a girl. A girl who God used to do something really important. And I felt like that was so exciting, because most of the time you hear about the guys doing the important things.

But what I realized this time around, was that Esther's life sucked. Guys, she was married to a pretty horrible person, she had to pretend she wasn't related to her uncle who was basically her only family, and she was completely judged on her looks. This would equal all of the worst things I could possibly think of. Except maybe it wasn't also negative 20 where she lived. I'm not up on my Israel climate knowledge, but I think that may be the only positive for her. To top it all off, God called her to go try to get on the good side of this king, who could legally kill her just for approaching him.

Her husband could legally kill her just because she wanted to talk to him.

I think about Esther's life and realize that mine is fabulous in comparison, but at the same time not what I always dreamed of. (Keep in mind it's winter, so I'm automatically more depressed. People, I really need to live somewhere warmer.) But God did very important things through Esther.

Last night, the girls and I talked about how God is glorified through our weaknesses. We talked about people who have done amazing things even though something about them or something about their circumstances really sucked. God uses weak people sometimes so that it's more obvious that he's really the one doing things.

I have no idea what God is doing in my life. Or yours. Or anyone's, because fortune-teller, I am not. But it's nice sometimes to be reminded that I don't have to be perfect. In fact, it's better if I'm not.

Enlisting Help

2011-12-05T07:59:00.001-08:00

I know I'm supposed to be writing you some great insights, like how I've learned that God is good or how I figured out this whole "budget" thing. But today is freezing, and yesterday was freezing, and it's snowed more than I was ready for, so I don't have it in me to be all deep and knowledgeable.

I have been having some crazy dreams, too, which is normal for me. But the other night I dreamed that this man

sang me Falling Slowly from Once.

He did a fabulous job. And I tried so hard to go back to sleep. Sigh.

Also, big news. Remember how I'm "writing a book"? And by "writing" I actually meant "thinking about occasionally"? Well, I've actually put pen to paper. Or, being the 21st century, fingers to keyboard. Which sounds more like I've developed musical ability. Anyway, I need your help! And for reals this time, so don't be shy people.

My book, in a nutshell, is about trying to figure out what you're doing with your life. Most of my friends are in their 20s, and most of us don't have a clue what we'd be doing in 5 years if our options were open. And we didn't have a zillion dollars in loans. So we're trying to figure out how to make money and like our jobs and have lives and whatnot, and sometimes it all just gets really overwhelming. I have lots of stories about myself, but I don't want to write a book about myself, because I'm saving that for my memoirs of being a Creeper-Attractor. (Attracter?) So I would love it if you would tell me your stories. If that means you'd rather meet with me, well then I have an excuse for Starbucks (or a local coffee shop if you want to be hipster about it)! So either way, let me know.

It's a big deal, y'all. And maybe then Tim Riggins really will sing to me.

The Difference Between Awkward and Creepy

2011-12-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

I had yet another run in with Joe, my maintenance creeper, today, and it made me wonder what exactly the difference is between Joe and Eric. (Eric was my neighbor at the Plex who also confessed to watching me walk Lizzy. My life, guys. It is a sitcom.)

In my ponderings, I realized that there's not a great way for me to explain it. But I'll try. With examples from my own weirdo life, I give you: How To Tell the Difference Between Awkward and Creepy.

1. "I was watching you walk Lizzy the other day..."

In this example, we must focus first on the eye contact. Are they looking at you directly? Or is their head lowered slightly and they're giving you "the eye"? The latter means they're a creeper and you should probably have a large man over the next time you require maintenance of your apartment. Secondly, what is the tone of voice? Are they saying, "Hey, I saw you walking Lizzy the other day and I noticed that she was wearing her snow boots." This is an observation of a friend who happens to have windows. It's innocent. "I saw you walking Lizzy and planned my exact timing to come over here," is a different matter. This is watching you to learn your schedule.

2. "Hey, I think I have a crush on your roommate."

Now this is probably not going to be said to you, but to your roommate about you. Thus, it will be harder to know what their body language tells us about their creeper status. However, actions taken after this confession can be extremely enlightening. Awkward: he calls for random "favors" or with weird questions. These are ways to be in conversation with you. Perhaps he then begins to stutter in your presence or constantly scratches his stomach. Or wears too much cologne. Again, these are all signs he's just feeling awkward. Creeper: he shaves his head, cuts up all his shirts, and tries his very hardest to look like someone you may like. He also tells you he thinks your male friend is hot. This is not normal. Also, he may start finding ways inside your house, comes to see if you're home every half hour, and buys you very expensive perfume. These are signs he is mentally unstable and you should spend the majority of your birthday hiding in your basement watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

3. "That was a great shot!" *high five*

Let's pretend you're playing pool with some guys you've recently met. Your friend, of course, gets the cute, normal one. You get the other. How do you tell if he's awkward or creepy? Well, let's think about the context of this statement and ensuing hand gesture. Did you actually make a good shot? Or, at the very least, a decent shot? Or did you miss the ball entirely, send the que ball flying off the table, or scratch the pool table itself? The latter, again, is the sign of a creeper. Secondly, let's think about how this high five is executed. Was it high, as the name implies? Was it at least shoulder height? Or was it, strange as it might sound, at his hip? I'll let you figure out which of these two mean you're dealing with a creeper.

4. Like the movies, you lock eyes with a stranger in the grocery store.

You know the scene. The cute girl is fabulously buying groceries, probably healthy ones. The guy, ruggedly handsome, is pushing his cart along, filling it up with manly food. They see each other, lock eyes, and BAM! It's a meet cute. Sometimes this does happen in real life. Mostly, you lock eyes with someone, realize you're staring, and look away awkwardly. This is fine. Normal, even. What you should be worried about is when the guy (or, you know, slightly...old...man) looks at you...for awhile. And then follows you at just enough distance that you just catch, out of the corner of your eye, him ducking behind the aisle. And then he "accidentally" bumps into you and says, "Hey, hi, uh..how are you?" And you start wondering if you know him, even though you know you don't. And then he gets into the check out line next to the one you're in, and you notice that he doesn't actually pay for anything. Because he's not buying anything. He's just standing in the line. And then he follows you out of the store, so you basically just run to your car.

5. "Wanna hang out tomorrow?"

This is not an abnormal text to get from someone. Perhaps even someone you've only recently given your number to. Even if you only gave it to them because they actually stole your phone and put their number in and texted themselves. That's...well, that's a bad first sign, but say it happened. And they text to see what you're doing, and you respond. Or you don't. It doesn't really matter. What matters is later in the conversation. If you responded, are they asking you to hang out somewhere normal? Or did they just ask if you want to "come over to the barracks?" Did they reference a conversation you actually had previously? Or do they start referencing a conversation you've not participated in, or perhaps that they've made up entirely? If you didn't respond, do they keep texting? How long? If it goes on for more than, oh, say two hours, how frequent are the texts? Every five minutes? Go change your number. Do they start referencing texts they sent you, claiming it's a text you sent them? Are they now calling you bipolar? Are they basically screaming through text? Go get a restraining order.

I hope this how to guide was helpful. Also, if you wonder why I'm wary and fairly commitment-phobic, I hope this gave you some insight as to why. And on that note, if you know of any good body guards, I'd love to chat.

Have a great weekend friends! (And don't worry. Joe's not dangerous. He's just a bit creepy.)

Things You Probably Don't Care About At All

2011-11-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

I have approximately 7 minutes before I'm supposed to leave for work. I woke up late and I have no motivation to go in because I had a crazy dream last night (shocker, I know) and didn't sleep well. So, lucky you.

1. I bought a pair of sweater tights at Target, but they are definitely not living up to the grand expectations of sweater tights. Do you own sweater tights? Where did you get them? Why do mine suck?

2. Matt wants me to write to you all about my thoughts on Tim Tebow. I'm afraid if I do, I'll get egged. (Because no one is "middle of the road" on this subject, so whatever I say is bound to piss someone off.) I'm still thinking about it. And by "thinking about it" I really mean "watching a lot of Big Bang Theory." It's the same thing. Trust me.

3. My mom gave me a cupcake maker. It looks like a waffle iron (by the way, why do they call them irons? They look nothing like irons. If it was up to me, I'd call them waffle presses. Because that's really what they are.) but for cupcakes. I told Julie last night that it'd be much better if it still didn't require you to make cupcakes. I'd really like it if you push a button and a cupcake popped out and that was all you had to do.

4. I have this giant canvas in my living room that I used in the first (failed) attempt at my mom's birthday present. Which was in September. I need to either just throw it away or try to figure out another use for it. Suggestions would be appreciated, but I know how you all feel an aversion to actually commenting on this blog. *wink wink*

5. I was also supposed to make myself a lunch today, cause I have to be at work until *gasp!* 5:00! It's a rough life I lead, folks. But see, instead I decided to check facebook, read Denise's blog, and write this list of nonsense. So lunch did not get made. Which means I'll either have to trick someone into taking me or go to Panera.

Happy Wednesday! I hope your hair doesn't look as bad as mine.

It's the Muppet Show!

2011-11-28T07:30:00.000-08:00

Not really, it's just my blog. But I've been saying that before things ever since I saw The Muppets this weekend. Have you seen it? You should. Go now. I mean it. It's so great.

Did you all watch The Muppet Show when you were growing up? I watched it all. the. time. I don't have any memory of what period of my life the Muppets were heavily involved in, but I feel like it was 90% of it. Probably I didn't get the jokes before age 3.

I remember Gonzo was one of my favorites. I think it had a lot to do with the nose. I mean, I knew early on I was going to get the Whaley nose. And until about age 16, my nose was 90% of my face. So I could relate to Gonzo on a purely aesthetic level. But I also thought Gonzo was the best Muppet because he was so...Gonzo. He did what he wanted, no matter how many nay-sayers there were. He flew out of canons, did incredible stunts, and hung out with a bunch of chickens. Gonzo taught me to be an individual.

Fozzie Bear was up there, too. I know his jokes were terrible, but I always thought they were funny. But what I loved about Fozzie was his incredible loyalty to his friends. No matter what, Fozzie stuck by them. He told them, too. He was always honest about his feelings, good or bad, and told his friends what they meant to him. Fozzie taught me the importance of friendship and loyalty.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew stole a secret place in my heart. For years, I just loved when he and Beaker would have a skit, because I just loved how smart they were. (Well...at least Bunsen was. I'm not sure what role Beaker played, other than getting blown up a lot.) I think I knew deep down that I was a big nerd. And by "deep down," I mean completely obviously. Not many kids had limits on reading time. But I knew Bunsen and Beaker understood. Even though it was a totally different subject, they loved academics like I did. They taught me it's okay to be smart.

I could go on, listing pretty much all the Muppet characters, but suffice it to say each one spoke to me in different ways. Janice was my "I wish I was a 60s rocker," Miss Piggy was my "strong female role model," and the Swedish Chef...well, he was just hilarious. And let's face it. Statler and Waldorf (you know, the old men who heckle during the show...and yes, I did have to look up their names) were basically my heroes.

And of course, Kermit. Who could forget Kermit? He taught me many things. Including how difficult it is to be green. But most importantly, to chase your dreams. It seemed like from wanting to host a show, to sing about rainbows, or to marry a pig, Kermit was always chasing some impossible dream. And so I think, it is no wonder seeing Kermit yell, "It's the Muppet Show, with special guest star..." brought a little tug at my heart on Friday. And why I keep wishing I could watch those old Muppet Show dvds. So thanks, Jim, for bringing these characters into my life.

*All pictures from Muppet Wiki.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-23T07:30:00.000-08:00

I've written a couple of Thanksgiving posts, and while I am still very grateful for all of the people and things I've written about on those, I don't want to repeat myself. As I sit here, wondering what specific thing I'm thankful for this year, trying to narrow down the many little things into one, I can only think of one thing.

During the summer, when it seemed my entire life was a rollercoaster of good and bad, switching in what seemed minutes, I cannot recall many times when I felt peace. I mostly felt terrified.

One day I was taking Lizzy for a walk. Lizzy has about three walk routes she goes on (she is a creature of habit, no matter how hard I try to break her of it), and this particular walk looped around our building, following the now infamous coyote fence. Behind that fence, which is just a wrought iron fence about 7 feet high, there is a field. It's pretty barren, save for the tiny valley that often fills with rainwater and then houses about 20 ducks. But on about 200 yards from the fence, the grass slopes up a hill, and directly on top of that hill is the South Platte Reservoir. The reservoir backs up to a highway, and on the other side of the highway is Chatfield Reservoir, and then the mountains. It's almost like living in Colorado Springs again, where no matter where you stand, Pikes Peak is constantly looking down on you.

When we go for this walk, well, pre-coyote, I'd spend most of it staring at the mountains while Lizzy tried to shove her head through the rungs of the fence. On this particular day, the blue mountains stood against that bright blue Colorado sky, and there, floating almost unmovingly, was a blue and red hot air balloon.

I have never in my life wanted to get in a hot air balloon. I am positive I would somehow plummet to my death. And I don't particularly remember any deep love of hot air balloons. But as I stood there staring at this balloon, I remember thinking, or maybe hearing, "Everything's going to be alright."

Since that day, I have seen hot air balloons hover over those mountains a hand full of times. Once there were two, and I got so excited I almost ran into a tree. And every time, I am reminded of that day.

I have lots of opinions on signs, God speaking to people, and how both are often taken so out of context that people end up spending 10 days hiding in a closet without food waiting to hear Him speak. So I can't give you any theological reasoning behind my hot air balloon experience. I can give you something better. My faith that God sent that balloon to calm my spirit and to give me a moment's rest.

As you all know, things were alright. I got a great job, I have been able to do some amazing things, and it seems my masters degree is not the useless piece of paper I thought it would be. My family is doing well, Lizzy has not been eaten by Jack (I've now named the coyote, since I keep seeing it and it has proven to have little interest in eating my dog), and I am surrounded by great friends. God is good.

This year, what I'm most thankful for is just that--God is good. Nothing more, absolutely nothing less. It is the best thing to be thankful for.

Here's to your hot air balloons, whatever shape they take.

Monday Musings: Stories

2011-11-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean." Robert Louis Stevenson

My friend Anthony and I are starting a writing club. (Which you are welcome to join, should you so desire.) We're doing it because we both have a desire to write about things, and we've found that it's best to write in fellowship with others, while drinking wine. It's not a novel idea (haha, get it?), as pretty much all the great writers had groups and friends that they talked to about their pieces, but for me it's the first time I'll be taking my writing to the public since college.

This past weekend, as Anthony and I were talking about our group and our writing, I realized that since we've started doing this, my desire to write well has increased. I have rediscovered my love for creative writing, and I'm starting to shed that heavy blanket that is called "academic writing."

"Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enhances the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become." C. S. Lewis

I can't remember all the books I've ever read. I can't remember the plot of every book, or all the characters' names. But I remember the ones that changed me. I remember the lines in the book that said what I'd been dying to say, the scenes that described what I look at, and the fact that whenever the food is described in a story, I crave it no matter what.

Stories impact us, they change us, they explain us. Let's not lose that. Let's not stop ourselves from writing what we were meant to write for the sake of the rational, scientific ideal our culture set up. Let's not forget the power of the creative written word.

"The decline of literature indicates the decline of a nation." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It's Ah-mazing

2011-11-18T10:15:00.000-08:00

Guys, it's Friday. Do you know what that means? I don't work on Fridays, so it means I do almost nothing.

Except now that Denise and I are good work-out-ers, we went to Zumba this morning. AND we went to Turbo Kick last night. Do you guys remember those exercise machines that just shook you until the fat was all jiggled out? I'm pretty sure these classes are the same concept for me. I bounce around a lot, with no real style or purpose, and the fat is all just jiggling out. This is not my shining moment of attractiveness, I tell you. But soon, I'll look like this

Um. Yeah. That's mostly because DB is in the picture. What? (I also greatly apologize that I'm not smart enough to make that picture smaller.)

So the Broncos won last night! I'm pretty excited that we're not the worst team in the league anymore. I have all sorts of other things to say about that, but people keep getting mad at me, so I won't.

I also want you all to know that next week, I will be literally the only person in my entire building at work. Therefore, if you are bored or in the area or needing an excuse to leave a bad situation, come visit me! I'll be virtually dying of boredom.

K, I gots to go shower. Zumba does not improve my scent, I tell you.

The Way It Was

2011-11-16T07:30:00.000-08:00

The excitement grew, distracting me from my book. Few things could distract me, but the collective anticipation of the 73,000 people surrounding me was getting louder and more intense.

I kept reading, though, determined to finish the chapter before looking up. Silence would overtake my world, drowning out the noise I didn't care to hear. I could hear the voices in the book, the trees waving in the wind, the babbling brooks. They were louder than the crowd, louder even than my parents' determination to get me to look up.

"Kristy! It's almost time!" Mom would grab my shoulder, attempting to free me from whatever world I was trapped in. Dad was too riveted to notice my lack of excitement.

But I'd keep reading. Right up until that last point. The point where you knew it was about to happen, where reading was not possible any longer.

Then I'd close the book and look up. I'd look up filled with the excitement that everyone else around me had been feeling for what seemed an eternity before me. I'd look up knowing he'd do it, that there was no question what was about to happen.

Then the crowd would erupt--screaming, cheering, hugging. Strangers high fiving, friends celebrating. I'd partake in the excitement, watch the celebration.

And then go back to my book.

Knowing that soon, our offense would have the ball again. Elway would drive down the field again. And we'd score a touchdown, right in time for me to close the book again. I knew it like you know the sun rises every morning. Like I knew my parents would keep bringing me to these games, even though I read through most of it. Like my parents knew one day I'd look back and appreciate these days, remembering what it's like to grow up watching the Denver Broncos.

And then he'd do it again.

Monday Musings: Dreams

2011-11-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

I am going to be 100% honest with you all. I had a CRAZY dream last night, which was approximately 5 hours long and too realistic, so I can't concentrate well enough to write the post I wanted to.

I wanted to write something eloquent and beautiful. I've done that about 3 times in my life, so I'm sure it would have worked out well today. I wanted to explain to you why I love writing, what's beautiful about it, and all sorts of things like that. However, all I can currently think about is stars and dogs and whether my dream actually meant I am going to marry Ben Covington.

I tell you what, it was a weird dream.

There was a point when a large dog chomped down on my ponytail and started shaking me around like I was his rope. It was...unpleasant. Also, what do you all suppose that means?

But I do want to tell you all something I think is important, I just don't know how yet to elaborate on it.

Dreams can come true. (No. Not my crazy dreams. Hopes and dreams. Which is good, because last night I also dreamed I recorded a song.)

God loves all of us.

Healing happens, usually when we don't expect it, and usually so slowly we barely notice. Until one day you see something and realize you probably should be crying a lot, but you're not. And then you realize you feel better.

Pain still happens, and it's important to take time to understand it. But it's also important to remember

God loves all of us.

That's all I have for now. Denise wrote some good stuff that's mildly related, so go read her blog.

Fitter Happier

2011-11-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

It's Friday. That means you get a whole lot of rambling.

1. Denise and I have decided to not be fat anymore, so we're being really good and doing classes at the gym. Wednesday is Body Pump. That's fancy talk for "fling a barbell around to the beat of techno music and try not to hit yourself in the face with it." After that, I couldn't even hold my phone to my ear. Thursday night we went to Turbo Kick. It's kickboxing to techno music. (Side note #1: When I create an exercise class, it'll be set to Blink 182 music.) At one point, I actually lost one of my senses--sight. It's hard to figure out what air you're supposed to punch when you can't see. It's possible that I also lost the senses of smell and taste, but those don't help you learn Turbo Kick (unless you're bleeding from the mouth, then taste would probably come in handy). Unfortunately, the feeling sense stayed with me in full force.

2. This morning I will be purchasing tickets to RADIOHEAD. Yes. RA-DIO-HEAD. I basically am more excited than I've been since I bought tickets to the Foo Fighters. But possibly more in awe, cause Radiohead is British. I don't know why that matters. Anyway, I want to tell you all that I discovered the wonder that is Thom Yorke and company when I took a class with Dr. Michael Kramp. (We just called him Kramp. The whole title is far too long.) It was in a class where we studied cultural things, so one of our textbooks was Radiohead's OK Computer. If you haven't heard that album GO LISTEN TO IT NOW. Anyway, I could tell you about all my favorite songs or how it impacted my life, but instead I will tell you that there were about 7 sorority girls in that class. They did not like Radiohead and said so a lot. It was my absolute favorite day when Kramp told them they could have bad taste in music if they wanted to, but they were not allowed to talk about it in class anymore. The lead sorority girl was very mad.

3. Are you guys watching Grimm? You should. You should watch a number of tv shows, of which I will tell you at length some day. But today we are focusing on Grimm. It's about a detective who is a Grimm (like the Brothers Grimm who wrote the book), so he can see that some people are basically fairytale characters like the "blutbad" (which means big bad wolf). Then he solves crimes that they commit. Let's be real here--I watched it originally because one of the producers was also a producer on Buffy, and we all know how I feel about that show. (In case you don't know, I love it.) But turns out, it's some good fairytale-crime-solving-fun! So you should watch it. Cause I don't want it to get canceled.

Have a fabulous weekend! Oh, and happy whatever the day is called because it's 11/11/11.

Yeah, I don't know.

(P.S. Wondering about the title? Click here.)

An Open Letter to Jason Testa

2011-11-09T09:30:00.001-08:00

Dear Jason,

I hope you are well. It's been about 6 years since you've had my phone number, so I realize it's been awhile. I mean, I realize we've never actually spoken. And you probably don't know who I am. But for the past 6 years, I've learned a great deal about you.

I learned you don't call your mother often enough. After the first few voicemails from her, I realized that your relationship is rather strained. It mostly concerns me that the sound of a female saying that she has reached Kristy's phone doesn't phase her from leaving fairly scathing messages.

I also learned you have a very active social life. I'm not sure how fast you go through women, but your friends constantly call me "Jason's new girl." I have been invited to several social gatherings by these fine, upstanding people.

I also learned about your dog, Mr. T. He was found in New Jersey, so I do hope you've gotten him back. I hope the two of you have reunited. The kind man that found him wandering the streets said he is a beautiful chocolate lab.

Finally, I have learned that perhaps you need to attend some financial seminars. Perhaps Dave Ramsey could help you out. Whatever program you decide on, I'm sure it would at least reduce the number of collectors calls I receive.

It's been 6 years, Jason. I do hope you're doing well and that somehow you are letting people know about your new phone number. I realize it's probably hard, but I'm sure all these people would appreciate it. If you need, I can start giving it out to those that call me.

Keep in touch,

Kristy

Monday Musings: Trust

2011-11-07T16:06:00.000-08:00

Hey, y'all!

(I think, for serious posts, it's best to start out channeling Tami Taylor. I get wiser instantly.)

Most of my life, I've had areas where I struggle trusting God. I suspect most people know what I'm talking about. If you don't, please share your secrets with the rest of us. Anyway, it's always been so obvious when I trust God and when I don't. For me, finances have just always been easy to give up to God. I've never been what some would call "stable" in that area, since most of my adult life has been spent in school, but God has always provided. And I've always known He would.

In other areas, I have failed miserably. For instance, when I was growing up, I had this dog named Megan. She was a toy poodle mix. She was tiny. But she was seriously the best dog ever. I loved her, as anyone who knew me back then could attest.

See? So cute. And good with cameras.

She slept with me at night, in my little twin bed. She was small, so it shouldn't have even been an issue. But for the entire 15 years that I had her, I was terrified I would roll over and crush her. So nightly, I would wake up to check on her--sometimes multiple times. Sleep has never been my strong suit.

I never crushed her, thank goodness, but I spent her entire life worried about it. Now, I have a new dog. Lizzy's also small (though I'm not afraid I'll crush her), so I find myself spending a good portion of her life worrying.

Also cute. Not good with cameras. (And sorry for my grossness.)

Recently, it became clear that there is a coyote hanging out in our apartment complex. And by "became clear" I mean I've seen it twice. And by "hanging out in our apartment complex" I mean it was on the second floor of my building.

As you can imagine, Lizzy would be a tasty treat for this coyote. And as you can imagine, I am now terrified to walk her. Because the coyote doesn't just come out at night, it's around all the time. Now when we go on walks, I'm spending the entire time scanning the area for coyotes, praying that God won't let her get eaten.

The fact is, though, that there's really not much I can do about this. Given the nature of dogs, I have to walk her. We have to venture out. And given the nature of leases, I have to live here at least until June. So the only thing I can do (other than not make stupid choices, like letting her go on the other side of the fence or walking her after dark) is to trust God. To trust that He is in charge of who/what that coyote eats.

The thing is, since this whole "coyote incident," I've been acutely aware that I struggle with trust in other areas, too. I think that learning to trust in this area would be a catalyst for learning to trust in other areas, too.

It's the getting to that trust point that I find so hard. They say the first step is identifying the problem, but I think that's not really the hardest step. I've identified the problem, but now comes the work to fix it.

And in case you are all wondering--we're hoping the coyote is actually gone now. It hasn't been seen for at least a week, which is good news. However, as Lizzy thinks the coyote appears to be her new bestie (she loves big dogs), she's probably not as happy about this as I am.

New Season

2011-11-04T10:41:00.001-07:00

So there I was, working and living and whatnot, thinking that I had totally not succumbed to that emotional breakdown known as "I graduated from school and it's freaking me out." I really did. I mean, I made it to almost mid-October before it hit, so I thought I was in the clear.

I was not.

As it turns out, you can't actually spend the majority of your life identifying as a student and then suddenly not be a student and be totally fine with that. I was in school for over 20 years (gross), so I probably should have taken that all much more seriously.

Anyway, I've been very mopey and despondent lately due to this, and it just occurred to me a few days ago that maybe this mopey and despondent mood was largely due to not having homework. I also started to think I was less smart because I haven't actively used my brain lately. (That's probably not giving myself enough credit, but let's face it. I haven't had a test, written a paper, or even just sat in class, so I feel like it's true.)

As I was telling Denise all this, she said, "Kristy. Probably you should just commit to blogging more now." And then I complained and whined and whatnot. But she was right. Denise is smart. She's still in school.

So here goes. I'm linking up with Kelly's blog, cause I need some motivation to really get going. And I'm going to be all annoying and linky on facebook. And I'm going to make sure I blog. Let's say 3 times a week, because really, too much commitment and I'm likely to run for the hills.

If you're a new reader, welcome! And let me know you're here so I can pretend like all of a sudden there are a bunch of people depending on my blogging. I'll be back on Monday, and I'm sure there will be some kind of interesting story I can share.

Heaven

2011-10-13T15:54:00.000-07:00

When I was in grad school (oh.my.crap...when that that become past tense?! I just freaked out...), there were several instances when we talked about heaven and what it would be like. One of my professors regularly said that in heaven, he'd finally be able to eat hamburgers and drink beer again (I guess old age made these foods his enemy...). We talked a lot about how this idea people have that we're in some perpetual worship service or floating around on clouds is just not supported biblically. Which made me happy, because if you know me well, an eternity long worship service sounds far from heavenly to me.

Anyway, sometimes when I'm having a really good day or something, I think about what it'll be like in heaven. Like, I'll probably just eat cupcakes and pizza in heaven. Scratch that. Full cakes. In heaven, cake won't need to be cup sized.

Sunday night, I had one of those moments.

I think in heaven, there will be rock shows.

Seriously! Think about all the musicians in history, and how those in heaven will be even more talented. And I think they'll use their talent for some really freaking awesome rock concerts.

If the Foo Fighters concert happened regularly in heaven, I think that would be totally awesome.

Probably there'd be a little less swearing, but all in all, putting that much heart and energy behind your music is exactly how God would want the musicians to play.

Go ahead. Tell me I'm crazy. But when we get there and there's a weekly full on rock concert, I'll just eat my giant cake and smile.

Cozy

2011-10-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

I'm being super anti-social and lame this Saturday night. I'm sitting at my house, watching the BBC version of The Great Gatsby (starring Toby Stephens, who plays the best Rochester ever, and yes, I'm aware 90% of people are now switching to another blog or something because you think I'm going to start rambling about how much I love books. Well, here. I love books a lot. There, done. And don't worry, this isn't about books.) and wondering how to pick up a sentence after that incredibly long parenthetical statement.

I'm sorry, I work with professors now. I used "juxtaposition" in my journal earlier, and I can't seem to stop throwing out unnecessarily big words. Though I misspelled unnecessarily just then, so you can be relieved that God instantly deflated my ego.

Anyway, I'm actually really glad I'm just sitting here with my incredibly strange dog watching a long and detailed version of one of my favorite books. It's cozy, and since it is awful cold outside, I'm glad I feel cozy. Every time I thought about the coming of winter before today, I'd get panic attacks. I hate winter.

Cozy is a word I don't think I've used for awhile, because nothing about my summer or spring was cozy. It was stressful. Terrifying. And crazy busy. In my recovery period, I'm experiencing many phases of healing.

1) Denial. I think the first phase was some crazy idea that since I got a job and life slowed down a little, I'd be immediately fine and happy. That I'd get back on track with things like exercise, eating "better," and forming some semblance of a social life.

2) Extreme illness. See that post down there about how for 2 full weeks, I was basically on my deathbed from stomach problems. Also, I don't know if I told y'all this, but I got the WORST heartburn every time I tried to lie down. Which is why it made more sense to just go to work, since I'd have to be sitting up anyway. And then at least I could think about things that weren't how hungry I was. Also, I still can't seem to digest meat well, so I've turned into a full-fledged vegetarian.

3) Hermit. The last, oh, 3 or 4 weeks, I've realized that some weird tiredness and laziness has taken over me, and I stopped leaving my house regularly. I had all these plans of joining a new Bible study, going to church regularly, and hanging out with friends. Instead, I've been watching an inappropriate amount of Felicity, pretending to read books (and failing because Ben Covington is really very cute), and walking my dog a lot. I mean, seriously, a lot. I think I'm starting to remember that if I do this for too long, I'll start in on extreme melancholy-ness, so those of you reading should occasionally force me to do things that are social. It's good for me. And I can't say this phase has passed enough for me to make much of an initiative.

4) Acceptance. I think this is a new phase, and I'm excited to see what it's like. But I'm finally starting to accept that my life is drastically different from both what it was and what I thought it would be. And that I had stuff to heal from, and that it would take time. Accepting these things is good for me, but it's also hard. I tend to think I'm independent and "tough" enough to not need to heal, to get over things quickly, and to be alright with my life. Understanding that sometimes this isn't true is a big deal. I'm still working on it.

All that to say, I'm feeling cozy now. And I think I like it. Also, I'm pretty sure I watch too much tv, but I am still dealing with a complete inability to deal with this whole "no homework" thing and I deal with it by watching comedies. Such as Up All Night. It's hilarious. Just so you know.

By the way, The Great Gatsby is still best as a novel. Though Toby Stephens does a fabulous job of portraying the man.

Dear Ja Rule, Where Did You Go?

2011-10-04T19:45:00.000-07:00

(Oh, right. Jail.)

Friends. VH1, the channel that plays the most amazing random shows that suck me in, is currently running "100 Greatest Songs of the 2000s." I literally turned it on about 5 minutes ago, so I'm not well versed in which songs they picked, but here I am blogging about it anyway.

I remember when they did "100 Greatest Songs of the 90s." Being a child of the 90s, I obviously think that series was, well, da bomb. I mean, seriously. I have it dvr'd still, and I watch it approximately once a week. I mean, go look at those songs. That's some fabulous stuff right there.

However, as I graduated high school in 2001, the songs of the 2000s represent what was a really great time of my life--college. (And after college. I graduated in 2005; it's not like I was in college the whole decade. Also, it's 2011. So it's not like all these songs are old.) So when Ja Rule and J Lo's "I'm Real" came on, I was transported back.

It's weird, because since I work at a college now, I'm constantly remembering my college. As I put it, my college experience was wildly different from where I work. But it's still college. I remember how it felt to be a freshman. A sophomore--when you think you've got it all figured out, since, obviously, you've been in college ONE WHOLE YEAR. And that by senior year, getting "dressed up" for class meant putting jeans on instead of just wearing the pajama pants you slept in.

Okay, I didn't intend on this being a nostalgic college post. So moving on. What I really want to say, here just 5 days before my second Foo Fighters concert, is that I think music can transport you to memories better than anything else. They say it's smell, but I disagree. I think it's music. Songs will automatically take you back to the first time you heard them, the event they played the soundtrack to, or the loser ex-boyfriend you dedicated it to in a fit of rage and girl-power-ism.

Also, I still think the 90s wins for best music. You're just not going to change my mind.

Good News--I'm Not Dead

2011-09-29T15:38:00.000-07:00

Hello!

Were you worried I'd died? (I'm talking to the, um, possible one person who may not have seen all my extremely dramatic posts on facebook about what I'm calling the Illness of 2011.)

So basically, here's the run down of what happened.

Sunday, I woke up in horrific stomach pain. It was ugly. And gross.

I spent much of that week in bed. But I also had to go to work sometimes, and while I was there, people commented a lot on how horrible I looked.

(This, by the way, is good to remember. Don't go places when everyone tells you you look horrible. It is not the way to attract a man.)

Tuesday, I went to Urgent Care and they put me on an IV for awhile. I had apparently become severely dehydrated or something. They did no other good, though.

On Saturday, I thought I was getting better, and I was so bored from all the laying around, I went to lunch with Jenn. I ate about 5 spaghetti noodles and a couple breadsticks. I'm the first to admit that this was a poor idea, but guess how starving I was? And how much I no longer cared? So then I was super sick again. But I bucked up and tried to be social for the rest of the weekend, even though I mostly just wanted to sleep. (I've been sleeping a solid 10 hours a night since this happened.)

So yesterday, I went to the regular doctor. Turns out, I have a parasite. She gave me medicine and now I'm feeling MUCH better.

Moral of the story: it's wise to go to the regular doctor sooner than I did. Because I had this for about 10 days. Which is too long.

Anyway, the good news is, I'm alive. I'm alive, 5 or 6 pounds lighter, and STARVING. Guys, I mean it. I am famished. I have been trying to eat, but my stomach has also shrunk to the size of a pea, so every time I start to eat, I get full and uncomfortable real fast. But I am trying to eat. Also, I'm still pretty tired, so I don't have the energy to go to the grocery store, and now I don't have any food.

It's a never ending circle. Tip #2 of this post: Try to go places not looking horrible, so that you attract a man who can then bring you food when you've been dying for weeks.

Also, not eating food makes me even more melodramatic than normal.

All this to say, one of you should probably bring me some food.

Kthanksbye!! :)

Monday Musings: Food Poisoning

2011-09-19T14:16:00.001-07:00

You guys, yesterday I woke up only to realize that my stomach had declared war on my body. It had decided it had enough of this world, and would do everything in its power to move us on to the next.

I'd tell you I am being dramatic, except for seriously there were a few times when it looked like an alien was going to pop right out of there. I had no idea a stomach could move like that without being pregnant.

Because of the random food poisoning (or whatever it is I contracted), I have had two full days of lying on my couch. My couch is really comfortable, but it's less so when my dog jumps directly on my stomach every half hour. She's not one of those "sympathetic" or "comforting" dogs. However, I have also had a lot of time to watch tv. Most of which I will tell you about here.

1. Did you all see that Broncos game? It was so good, then so bad, then thankfully, we won. I didn't think we would. But I was proud of our defense for stepping up and making big plays when we need it. Also, I have a crush on Eric Decker. It's just how things go.

2. Thanks to Heather, I have been watching an obscene amount of Supernatural. It stars Dean from Gilmore Girls. Due to apparent lack of thought from the writers, Dean plays Samorsomethinglikethat Winchester, and Jensen Ackles plays Dean Winchester. Naturally, I call them Dean and Dean. It gets confusing. Either way, I am now 100% convinced that my upstairs neighbors are actually demons.

3. I was trying to watch the Emmys, because Friday Night Lights was nominated for stuff. But the Emmys are actually very boring, so I switched between that and Teen Mom. High quality television. Anyway, I did catch The Lonely Island's song, which was funny and very uncomfortable. I also saw Modern Family win for best comedy. Sadly, I missed my favorite Coach Taylor win for best actor, and the writer of FNL won, too. I am so excited for them. Then, this morning, I saw a link to a video that made me cry more than is acceptable. Go watch it, but get a tissue first.

4. When I was little, my mom gave me a book called Christy. I loved it. It's a story about this girl, Christy, obvs, who goes to be a school teacher in the backwoods of the Smokey Mountains. She teaches in a one room school house (in 1912) and her students are super poor and have no shoes. And there is a very handsome preacher, David, who loves her. And a stupid doctor, whose name I have chosen to forget, who also loves her. Anyway, she is a stupid woman and picks the doctor for reasons that are beyond me. So in the early 90s, the book got made into a television show. I am currently watching the first 3 episodes on Netflix. I have many things to say about this, too. A) There is some mighty bad acting in this show. B) No one in this show is nearly as inspiring as Coach Taylor, and that makes me think that if only he had been there, he could've whipped these people into shape. C) I still think she's a stupid woman for marrying the doctor instead of the preacher. So dumb. I have never understood why she picked the doctor.

Aren't you all so glad I've been stuck on the couch? At some point, I might try making food. I made soup earlier, but it took a lot out of me and I had to watch more Dean and Dean demon fighting action.

Next week, I'll tell you all about how fascinating Dead Like Me is.

Monday Musings: Thankful

2011-09-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

I wrote a ridiculous post a minute ago, then thought of a good thing to write and thought, "But I'll wait and start Monday Musings again." Then I realized it is Monday. I tell you this as a warning. :)

A couple days ago, I was about to go to sleep and I realized how good the last couple weeks have been. I had a terrible, stressful, physically draining summer, and I had forgotten how it felt to be happy and content and not stressed.

Don't get me wrong. I am still stressed in a lot of ways. Life is not easy right now. I have a lot of adjusting to do, a lot of things to figure out, and a lot of stuff that is still looming in the distance. But none of that is taking the toll on me that things were just a few short weeks ago.

As a point of reference, just know that the stress of the summer made me gain weight and lose hair. Two unfortunate things, for sure.

However, 3 weeks ago, I started my new job. And I'm excited to say that I like it a lot. I am actually excited to go to work, which I haven't said in awhile. I have good co-workers, and work that actually energizes me rather than drains me. I even got some really great news about the future of that job. Details aren't ready to share yet, but the fact that it's out there is all I really need.

On top of that, I have been so incredibly blessed to see how well my friends loved me through the summer. I can't even tell you how many people went out of their way to help me when they saw how badly I was doing, and even at the time I so appreciated what they'd done for me.

Finally, I know this may sound silly to some of you, and I realize I probably talk about this more than you all would care to hear, but I am struck so often at how God works through my dog. No matter what, Lizzy would be there to cheer me up. And whenever I started getting too upset about things, she would do some incredibly ridiculous thing to crack me up. I think people who have animals understand this, but there's just something special about their ability to love.

I was reminded of this when I read this article about the 9/11 rescue dogs. It's amazing to me how much dogs give to people, and when I think about how God created them for that, I think he really must have known how well they'd demonstrate his love.

K, enough about how much I love dogs.

Lastly, and completely unrelated, I want to welcome my (wait for it...) GREAT NEPHEW to the world! (Yup. My niece had a baby. I am so old.) Jace Carson was born on September 9 (also my mom's birthday!), and he looks SO CUTE! I can't wait to meet him this weekend!

Meh

2011-09-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

Random story: I remember before people everywhere were saying, "Meh," there was a kid in my college who had a shirt that simply read: MEH. One day, one of my friends asked him what it stood for (we all read it as letters...not a word). He looked at her, shrugged, and said, "Meh." We all thought it was hilarious. Apparently we were just really not cool.

Lucky for you all, I will be up on all the happening things now, because I work at a college. College students are notorious for being up on all things cool and hip. Or whatever word the hipsters have identified as the word to use to indicate something is good. PLUS, two of these college students now work for me, so I can make them teach me things.

Lesson: I will soon be much cooler than you.

I will also remain pretty nerdy, though, cause other than the college students tripping into my office (there's a step up to get in, but no one notices, so almost everyone trips the first time), I hang out with professors. Professors are notorious for being absent minded and out of touch with the world, so I figure I'll end up really cool and really spacey. But I'll be able to use Microsoft like nobody's business. Long story. Not interesting.

By the way, there is only one bathroom in the building I work in. (When I say "building," I only use it because technically, it is. But when you picture it, you should really think of those trailers they have at elementary schools. Because that's more accurate for what it's like.) Because I work with 6 men and 1 woman, the bathroom is co-ed. Because I work with 6 men, there's a urinal in it. And I am convinced that one day I will walk in on one of the professors using said urinal. You can only imagine the fear that wells up within me when I realize I need to pee.

Plus, today, the light bulb burnt out, so you have to pee in the dark.

Lesson: Please donate to the School of Theology at CCU. We need a second bathroom.

Dream the Impossible Dream

2011-08-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

Bloggy friends, I know I come here spouting a lot of crazy dreams I have. (Not the ones at night. Dreams for my life.) I know you so often feel like my grasp on reality is so loose, you're all just waiting for that one little comment to slip out that allows you to take me to some mental hospital. But I totally have a legitimate life plan this time. Let me tell you how I came up with it.

See, Jenn and I are really, really big Bronco fans. I don't know if you knew that. However, we are also really big Bronco fans who had a lot going on in August. So we were only able to watch the Hall of Fame inductions yesterday. Don't judge us. Anyway, we watched our dear Shannon Sharpe fumble through what may have been a decent speech if he'd only stuck to whatever it was that was written on that paper in front of him. We teared up in the beginning (oh calm down, if you'd seen what blubbery messes we were for John Elway's induction, you'd be applauding our restraint and self-control right now), but by the time he got around to talking about how he'd ruined relationships and neglected his kids, we were trying to telepathically tell Sterling different ways to get Shannon to stop talking.

But that was nothing compared to Deion Sanders' speech. Wow. We didn't even get to see all of it because the DVR cut it off, but there were some gems in that rambling. He didn't even bother to write anything down. He just flew by the seat of his pants. However, it was during Deion's speech that I realized my life goal.

I'm going to become Eric Decker's spiritual advisor.

See, Deion started talking about how he has a team of spiritual advisors. He never really mentioned what they do, but he did list them by name. And I said to Jenn, "Deion Sanders has a team of spiritual advisors? How do you get that gig?" Later, when he thanked (and I quote) his friends "Ice Cube and Snoop D-O-Double G," I said, "I feel like maybe his spiritual advisors are falling down on the job a bit." But then it hit us. I totally have the credentials to be a football player's spiritual advisors. We talked it out a bit, and decided on Eric Decker for the following reasons:
1. He is a Bronco, and we all know I'm only doing this incredibly sacrificial service for Broncos.

2. We feel he probably only needs one spiritual advisor, so I wouldn't have to be part of his team.

3. I would like for him to be friends with musicians I want to meet. Not that I don't want to meet Snoop D-O-Double G, but I'd rather meet Dave Grohl and Brandon Boyd, and they seem more Eric Decker's musical stylings.

I will now be spending my free time working to achieve this goal. I'm pretty sure it's a sure plan.

And in case y'all are worried about how I'm going to feed Lizzy in the meantime, I will assure you that I start my new job on Monday. I'm the new admin assistant in the theology department at CCU. So I'll have something to tide us over until Eric puts me on his payroll.

Writer's Block

2011-08-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

I have writer's block quite badly, and I don't feel like typing out a post of nonsense and ramblings just to put up a post.

If you have any requests (I don't really know what that means, but go with it) post them in the comments.

Or just come back when I have thoughts again.

A Letter

2011-07-27T22:01:00.000-07:00

Dear So You Think You Can Dance,

I really love this show. Really. I love dance a lot. Second only to books. And I love books more than some people are comfortable with.

The problem I have is a simple one. I want to watch your show.

I think you would believe this to be good for you. You should be encouraged. Feel loved. All sorts of happy, exciting emotions.

And yet, you are denying me this simple request.

"Kristy, you're watching it on tv right now," you say?

Yes. The current season. I can watch the current season on tv. But that's it.

What if I want to watch the Bench Dance again? Travis is a fabulous choreographer, but sometimes I really miss his dancing. And guess what else I miss? That dance the top four of season two did to "Sexy Back." Cause, wow. Travis. Good job.

Or the dance dear Ivan did when we all said, "OH, look! He's a man!" Sure, I've forgotten what the song was. But that's basically your fault since I CAN NEVER WATCH IT AGAIN.

Or what about some of those other Emmy nominated dances? Why, dear SYTYCD, do you never want me to watch these again? Why?

Please, for the love of all of your fans who sit around talking about how good those old dances were, let us watch them again. I swear, I will buy all the seasons. Even season 6, which I didn't love that much.

Thanks for your consideration in this very important matter.

Your loyal and slightly obsessive fan,

Kristy

P.S. I have found some. I'm 99% sure that in two days, these links won't work again, cause that's what happens every time I find the videos. But for now.

Philip (and that time he beat that other popper)

Katee and Will's Pas De Deux

The Butt Dance

Rockafeller Skank

Hip Hip Chin Chin

The Haps

2011-07-18T15:20:00.000-07:00

I couldn't think of a theme for this post. There's a serious post floating around in my head, but it's not ready yet, so I figured I'd get out some of the crazy first. But like I said, none of the crazy went together. So I thought, you know what? Caution be damned! I'm going to write in stream of consciousness, just like Grandma Whaley used to do! (BTW, Grandma Whaley used to write letters to me. I couldn't possibly tell you why, I just remember they were the most random things I'd ever read. Which made perfect sense to me. My mother, however, realized these letters were the first signs of Grandma's going crazy. Hm.)

I found an excellent new blog, which is good, what with the demise of that Blawgesome one. It's called The Bloggess (dot com), and she is real funny. Though she swears a lot, so be prepared.

Katherine and I sang the "Be Prepared" song from The Lion King when we saw the hyenas. I also spit at the camels.

This morning, Jenn and I were supposed to go to the gym. She texted me to tell me she was going to be late, and through a series of me being not able to read texts and being extraordinarily grumpy, we didn't make it. I then dreamt that Express made me wear extraordinarily ugly jeans, because I was "too fat" to fit into any of the other ones. I think we'll make it to the gym tomorrow.

Guys, do you remember how inept I am at talking to cute boys? Well, I was positive I'd gotten over this. I even could give scientific proof (also known as, a few examples of me speaking to cute boys in an intelligent manner). This was all disspelled yesterday. Twice. In a mere matter of hours.

The first time was because (I KID YOU NOT) A BRONCO WALKED RIGHT PAST US!!! I'm positive of it. I even think it was Richard Quinn. Garan and Katie think I'm crazy, but I tell you, it was him.

Then, we were staring at the directory (oh, right...we were in a mall) looking at the restaurants to decide what to eat. A very cute security guard came over and asked if we needed help finding a store. My response went something like, "Uh...it...usshd...sfor....gah." Garan giggled like a school girl, so I don't feel so bad.

My dog apparently is a PC. Julie has an iPhone, and whenever she gets a text, Lizzy freaks. She barks at the phone, runs around, etc. I definitely don't know what happened between her and Steve Jobs, but she does not like Apple.

I had a fight with the hole puncher today. It was pretty ugly. Those hole punched papers...what are they called? Hole punchies?...well, anyway, they were everywhere. And I literally had to use my entire body to punch holes sometimes. Because I had to punch holes in approximately 8,934 pages, some of which my coworker so thoughtfully stapled right where a hole would go, so I'd get impatient every now and then and try to punch more than the alloted 3 pages at a time.

Have you seen Wilfred? On FX? It's on right now, and I am really not sure what to think. Except Pat showed me a clip where he brings a pelican to someone, and I had instant flashbacks to the worst present I've ever received.

Speaking of Pat, though, he was very helpful in getting my music all fixed for me. But he was also mostly horrified at the music he had to download (it's not my fault only the bad cds got scratched...) so he gave me some other music to improve my library. I have been listening to

Sail pretty much non-stop. It's good, though, because now I have lots more music that no one else listens to. My niece Lauren says that I pretty much am always focused on (distracted by...) puppies and music no one listens to.

Don't you want inside my head? First it's bat-shit crazy, then it's filled with puppies and music no one listens to...

By the by, this song is also good. The lady dj one day said that she thought the lead singer was "the most attractive man she'd ever seen." Warning: this is probably not true. Unless she's not a big fan of tv. But watch/listen anyway. Just don't get too excited.

The other day, one of the blind people in my complex smiled at me. I was standing still, waiting for Lizzy to finish sniffing yet another blade of grass, so I'm not sure how she knew I was there. I'm thinking that maybe they're not all blind people...

Maybe some of them are spies.

I'll be looking into this further.

Home Sweet Home

2011-07-14T16:02:00.000-07:00

My last few posts have either been melodramatic or full of non-information.

Okay, this one might be more non-information, but it will be more exciting. I think.

I've been living in Denver (or at least, the Denver area) for 10 months now. Somedays it feels like much longer, like I've been here always. Somedays it feels like I just moved up here and I have no idea what it is to be in a big city. Either way, I love it almost 100% of the time. (Though I am getting really tired of monsoon season.)

This week, I've been having some really great Denver adventures, and I just keep thinking about how exciting it is living here. The fact that I can do these things and not be an hour away from home is just so cool.

Tuesday, Amanda and her friends Erin and Meredith and I went to Film on the Rocks. Red Rocks Ampitheater does this every summer, and this year they were showing Pineapple Express on Amanda's birthday. So we got tickets, had dinner, and drove up.

Remember how I said it's monsoon season?

We watched Air Dubai play, listened to a very lame comedian, and then got rained out by some crazy monsoon, tornado warnings, and severe lightening. It. Was. Nuts. Trying to get out of Red Rocks during that kind of rain is similar to trying to walk down a waterfall. It was intense, very wet, mildly scary, and a really great adventure. Though I'm hoping one of these days I can actually see a film at Film on the Rocks.

Today, Katherine and I went to the Denver Zoo. I LOVE zoos. Love them. I could go to a zoo once a week. No joke. We decided to just go with the intense child-like feeling that took over us, so we got grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, root beer floats when we were hot, and we each got a fun zoo stuffed animal. (Mine is an otter. Obvs.)

I also get to regularly enjoy things like frozen yogurt, cupcake stores, and sections of town that have little boutique shops. It has also been probably several months since I ate at a chain restaurant. (I mean, you know, other than Starbucks and Panera...)

Denver is a very cool city. Those of you who live nearby (or in) Denver should really appreciate what's at your fingertips. Come visit me. I'll show you around. And those of you who are far from Denver, you can still come. I have a really comfy couch you can sleep on.

Music Woes

2011-07-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

Y'all, I have a story. It's kind of sad. And also, I may need your help.

(Also, don't worry too much. It's not that sad.)

So for years and years, I built this (to me) brilliant music collection on my computer. I had all my cds on there, music I'd bought on iTunes, and you know, some music I came by less upstandingly. It was pretty sweet.

And then I got this laptop. But I just kept using my desk top for the music and pictures, naively thinking it would last and that using it for so small of my work would extend it's life infinitely.

Then my desk top starting dying. And I knew I had to get the music and pictures off before it really bit the dust. So I got an external hard drive, and I tried to transfer it all myself. But I'm pretty inept when it comes to things like that, so it didn't go well. A few months later, one of my friends said he knew how to get it all off. He managed to get all my pictures, but only got 40 songs. So finally, a few weeks ago, Pat came and got the rest of the music onto the hard drive. I was convinced I was home free, and I took the sad little desktop to my parents' so they could recycle it.

Today, I started the extraordinarily long task of organizing all this music, so I could put it on my new iPod and really start enjoying life again. (I love music.) That's when I realized...

While all of my purchased music, and most of my...um...not so purchased music made it over, the cds didn't fair so well. Most of them said "couldn't find original file" whenever I tried to do anything with them. So I began the even longer task of re-uploading all these cds onto my laptop (and then I will upload all this again onto the hard drive, as I have definitely learned my lesson). While this is long and tedious, I wasn't too concerned.

The sad part begins here. I'll try not to cry.

There are a few cds that are apparently too scratched to upload. One of these being Radiohead's In Rainbows, which is one of my favorites. Then I realized something even worse. I am missing some cds. I can't find them for the life of me. The two that I'm mostly aware of are The Classic Crime's Vagabonds and Albatross. Also, two of my favorites.

Guys, I am devastated. (And only a little bit exaggerating.) So if you either a) have any of these cds and would be willing to let me borrow them, knowing I did at one time purchase them legally, b) know how to fix the issue without the cds, or c) just want to console me in my sad state, you should call me. I don't know how to function in this current loss.

I'm 17

2011-07-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

Do you remember Never Been Kissed? When Drew Barrymore is trying to convince someone that she's in high school, and she says in her best valley girl voice, "I'm 17!"

It's been like that, only the reverse.

What I mean is, no one believes I'm "of age" right now. Which, as I just had a birthday and could be feeling quite old, is okay by me. Let's just run down the examples:

Some friends and I went to Black Hawk for a spa trip. It was fabulous. Apparently the spa so relaxed me that the security guard in the casino thought I had a fake ID. She ran it through the machine not once but TWICE, and tried to "trick me" by asking random questions about my ID. Like my full name. And my birthday.

Christie and I went to see Bridesmaids on my birthday. She got carded. They gave me a dirty look when I came in later and got my ticket from her.

Also, some people tried to guess my age. They guessed 23.

I'm taking this to mean that turning 28 has rejuvenated my youth. I also take it to mean I should go to the spa more often. It is good for my health.

How Now, Brown Cow?

2011-06-29T18:05:00.000-07:00

Oh, dear blog friends, I am terribly sorry for my extremely long absence. Here are my excuses:

1. I moved. We just got internet today. See? I got right on top of that.

2. I have been in interviews, looking for employment. Because Operation Marry Champ Bailey is not going so well.

3. I have been very busy ignoring the questions of what I'm doing with my life.

4. I have been hiding from the shame evoked by my vampire legs. (Oh, and a special shout out to Jetty, my international reader! Don't worry, Jetty, I didn't go fake n' bake. I also didn't get a spray tan. Thus, I have legs that would blind anyone who was unfortunate enough to look at them.)

5. I have been reading books. Books I like. Dracula, and the newly begun 1984. I have subsequently lost my already loose grasp on reality.

6. After graduating, my brain basically shut down. I was unable to form full sentences. I figured you didn't want to read a blog that went "food....heat...sun...water...baaaahhhhh...work...sleep...Dracula."

It's pretty exciting to be back to blogging, though. I wish I had fabulous and exciting news for you. Alas...I don't. I'm still unpacking the new apartment, getting settled and whatnot. Lizzy and I have already had many adventures here. It turns out they require you to own a dog in order to live here, so we meet lots of other dogs. Sometimes she likes them. There's a dog named Angel that lives above us that she finds quite disturbing. We've also been busy "chasing" bunnies. The number of rabbits that live on the property is slightly disturbing, and Lizzy forgets about the leash every time she sees them. We've also been avoiding the coyote that lives nearby.

Seriously, guys, this post is boring even me. I am so sorry. Here's some hopes for my next post.

1. It will be within the next 9 days. (Why 9? That's the key my figure found randomly. I live on the edge, I tell you.)

2. I will have a job. (That's actually not likely if I do in fact post in less than 9 days, but it'd be a good deal either way.)

3. I will have some fabulous story to tell you. (Or the presence of mind to tell you about Javier, my maintenance man that loves me. I named him Javier, in case you were wondering.)

4. I will have reclaimed that talent I lost. It's called "writing interesting things." Do you remember how I used to be good at that?

Perhaps I will just go back to taking pictures of my clothes. Which would have been good on Monday, but sad today. Today is a sweatpants day. Sweatpants and my new fun. t-shirt, which means it's a happy sweat pants day.

What's A Girl To Do?

2011-05-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

(I know you're not technically supposed to capitalize an article in a title, but it looked funky to me. And I'm all about looks.)

I have SO MANY dilemmas in my life right now, you guys. SO. MANY. It is overwhelming. And thus, I am opening up decisions to my loyal readers. The two of you should respond quick like. ;)

(Also, as previous pleas for help indicate, I have just ensured that no one will comment on this post. Good thing I don't take advice well. ha!)

Dilemma #1:

It is May 25. I am as white as the t-shirt I'm wearing right now. But the only time Colorado decides to be sunny is when I'm stuck at work. So I can't get a tan. But I need one, because people no longer want to look at me. Should I get a spray tan? Or should I just pretend I'm embracing my Irishness and am anti-being tan now?

Dilemma #2:

I am this close to getting a literary agent. (Just saying that makes me all panicky.) And my friend asked me last night what I plan on writing my first book about. I'm all set to write it in my fancy new notebook (thanks to Jenn and Karla), but what should I write about? I mean, should my first book really be a guide to attracting creepers? Because let's face it. I'm an expert at that.

Dilemma #3:

I had a bit of "difficulty" doing laundry for about 6 weeks. (Don't worry. It's done now.) Thus, my entire wardrobe is sitting in the laundry basket (clean), a duffel bag (because I had too much to fit in the laundry basket), and a plastic bag (seriously...it was a lot of laundry). Do I put it away? Or do I just live like this, as I'm moving in 3 weeks?

Dilemma #4:

Do I want to become a Baptist? To be more specific, a Swedish Baptist?

Dilemma #5:

What should my holiday weekend plans be?

I have far more pressing dilemmas in my life. But I'm not about to post those for the world to see. But if you want my holiday weekend plans to be sitting down and talking to me about those dilemmas, I'd be all for it.

Let's just say that graduating from grad school is not an easy transition. I have so many decisions to make, I've had 4 job interviews (which is really good, I know, but super stressful at the same time), and I'm really feeling like I lost a part of myself. I had a really fabulous talk with my dear friend Claire about all this, and she assured me that it's all normal. But that doesn't always make things easier. The fact is, I identified myself for so long (I mean, most of my life) as a student, and losing that has been really hard. I feel like I'm a plastic bag floating in the wind. (Yup. Stolen song lyrics. No, I don't remember which song.) It's disconcerting, and I don't love it. So the dilemmas I listed end up being my escape. It's much easier to try to decide what skin tone to be than what job to apply for/take.

I will tell you that I've learned two very important truths from all this. One is that God is faithful. When I start freaking out, crying, and basically throw a big tantrum, He has consistently comforted me. I haven't felt His presence more than I've been feeling it these last few weeks. And secondly, there is a reason God gave us pets. Cause it's really hard to be in a bad mood when Lizzy is being super cute and cuddly.

What Now?

2011-05-18T12:57:00.001-07:00

Hello! I'm back! I know, you all missed me so terribly. I mean, it has been 10 whole days since I wrote.

A lot of people have been asking me "what now" since I graduated. I thought that I'd just answer you all here, so I don't have to give you the big long explanation every time. It' simpler this way. Plus...you know...LIST!!!

1. I have had 3 interviews in the past week. This is good. Progress and all.

2. I work 20 hours a week. I get off at 1:30 every day.

3. Thus, as soon as Colorado decides to be summer, I will be at the pool. A lot.

4. Lizzy seems to think that since I don't have homework, my entire being should be dedicated to petting her, nonstop, 24/7.

5. I have about 10 books on the "finally I can read what I want" list.

6. At some point, I'd like to go see Fast 5. Don't judge me. I'd also like to see the new Pirates.

7. I'm thinking about cleaning my room someday. You know, before I move.

8. I've been catching up on Cougar Town. I don't care what you say, that show is hilarious.

9. Kim and I are going to a fancy tea restaurant tomorrow.

10. My Bible study is going to the roller derby on Saturday.

Were you thinking this list would be somehow a path to my future? Well, sorry to disappoint. But you should know by now. That's not how I roll. Someday I hope to have an answer to the "what now" question. I'm really hoping that "someday" is before June. But that's up to God. And I'm okay with it.

And you can join me at the pool if you want.

Master of Theology

2011-05-14T13:30:00.001-07:00

Monday Musings: The End

2011-05-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

I have loved school since I started it, pretty much. Preschool was the beginning--I still remember when we made pinwheels. I think I became a "nerd" in middle school. That's when I realized I liked it more than other people. I mean, I deeply hated some of my classes. Specifically that horrible environmental studies class I took with Kelly Beach. It's possible we would have learned more if we weren't writing each other notes in comic book form, but that class was too boring to actually pay attention. It is still the only time I've actually fallen asleep in class.

I have also loved some classes. I still, to this day, want to go back to my senior seminar class (Ethnography) with Jeri. The day she taught us how to sign "pilgrim" is imprinted permanently on my brain. That may sound like we didn't learn much or do much, but I promise, that is far from true. I learned so much in that class; most importantly, it put into words why I love literature so much.

And I am still beyond thrilled with that A I got in Norm's grammar class.

I even sometimes (sometimes) liked my homework. I have papers I wrote that I'm still so proud of. Books I read that I would never have thought to read on my own. I know if it wasn't for my 11th grade term paper (on Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, starting my love affair with the book), I may not have known what it was to really love books. I may not have gotten an English degree. I may not have become the person I am today.

I also really and truly loved the part of my cultural studies class (with Kramp...fabulous professor) where we studied Radiohead's OK Computer. I have now listed that album as one of my "three desert island must haves." I can't get enough of it. And to think, if I had taken Lit Crit (like I was supposed to), I may not really know Radiohead now.

Seminary has been a whole new world of experiences. In high school and college, being smart and getting A's came naturally. I could do the work, I always knew what was expected, and I felt like I could crank out papers like a machine. Seminary broke me of a lot of that arrogance. It has been the most unnatural, difficult, and testing school of my life. I do not think in "seminarian." When my classmates sit and talk about how they read (for fun) the latest systematic theology, I realize that my "for fun" reading is still classic literature. My "for fun" reading is very different dead white men than their's.

However, I have grown a lot as a person because of all that. I learned a lot about myself, and I have learned a lot about God. It's possible I learned the most about both me and God in my complete inability to do this stuff naturally. The fact that I've had to put forth this much effort makes me less of a snob than I used to be.

I have also learned that I identify as a student before almost anything else. If someone asks what I do, who I am, I say "student." Hands down. Even in the semesters when I was only taking two classes, so it would have been more telling if I said "I work for the Navigators." The part of me that goes to class, does my homework, and learns is the part of me that means the most.

So here I am. In my last week as a student (for the foreseeable future). When I graduated high school, I knew in 3 months, I'd be in college. When I graduated college, I knew in 2 years or less (depending on how the "real world" went), I'd be in seminary.

This is the first time in my life I can say that I don't have plans to go back to school.

Sure, I think about it. I talk about it. But it isn't in the actual "plan."

Perhaps that's why I'm not looking forward to Saturday. Perhaps that's why I almost broke down when I saw the sign that said "Congratulations Graduates" hanging at my school. Perhaps that's why I still haven't picked up my cap and gown...

(Perhaps that's even why I'm having such a hard time writing my last paper...)

I love school. Even if I don't go back, that will never leave me. I will always love school. In some way, I will always be a student. Because I will always be reading the classics. I will always be studying, learning, and writing.

I want to say thanks to my professors and teachers. The ones that I still hear when I read certain books. The ones who I see when I think about things. The ones who bled all over my papers so I would be smarter. The ones who didn't care that I always sat in the back, occasionally skipped, or doodled on my notebooks. I promise, I was always listening and learning (except in that environmental studies class...that was just awful). Thanks. You made all the difference.

I also want to thank the people in my life who love me for being a student. And who let me talk about books, seminary, or papers without going crazy. And for my parents who supported me, and took my dog so I could study. She is truly the worst study partner. Lizzy does not love school.

I graduate in 5 days. I will get a hood. I will get a Masters of Arts in Theology. I will get really hot in that robe.

Here's to the end.

For now, at least.

Jeri, I may be calling you in a few months about how to get a masters/doctorate in literature.

One Week

2011-05-06T12:28:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that Barenaked Ladies song? If you don't, here it is. I love that song. I remember in 9th grade, Maria and Ariana and I were filming a satiric video for our English class, where we acted like news reporters reporting on fairy tales. It was a fabulous video, that I still have somewhere. Only my close friends get to see it, though, because I know they'll still love me even after they see what I looked like in 9th grade. (Which was still considerably better than 7th grade. That was my truly ugly year.) We listened to this song (and Edwin McCain's "I'll Be") over and over and over and over.

That story has absolutely nothing to do with this post. Other than that I have been in "reminiscing mood" all day, and keep coming up with great stories from my past. Maybe I'll have theme days here on the old bloggy, and one of them will be "Great Stories from Kristy's Past." What do you think? Then, depending on the day, you know what you get here. Monday Musings. Wednesday Stories. Friday Fashion. (I like alliteration. We need to fix Wednesday's title. Ready...go.)

Speaking of fashion, you guys, I LOVE my other clothes. So. Much. And I love that no one has taken a picture of me in 3 days. Except yesterday. Because I was wearing my L.A. maxi dress (I call it that because it is from L.A.--the city. Ronalee sent it to me.), a cardigan, and some big sunglasses. I looked very California. And I thought, "This is an outfit I'd take a picture of." So if I do have Fashion Fridays, I'll wear it again soon so you all can see it. But I haven't decided if I really am doing Fashion Fridays.

I have a 20 page paper to write today. That's why I feel rambly and such. And haven't you missed my rambly, long posts? Without pictures of me? I know I have. I am an extrovert. I need to spew words every now and then. And if I do it here, y'all can skip over the boring parts and I don't even know about it.

I also love sharing fabulous finds with you. I had discovered Stephen Torrence's sign language version of Party in the USA awhile ago, but while showing it to Julie today, we discovered that he has many videos. Like Bohemian Rhapsody and one by Jack Johnson. He is hilarious. I love ASL. I wish I still knew it.

Did y'all know I took sign language in college? That could be another story for Wednesdays. Seriously, what are we going to call that? Wednesday's W....eather. That's a terrible name...

I'm going to a Kentucky Derby party tomorrow, and Derby attire is required. Which means....BIG HAT! I'm so excited. I love big hats. Pictures will be on facebook.

Alright. I have to go write that paper. If you want to help, come on over!

Let's Dance the Last Dance

2011-05-03T15:07:00.001-07:00

(Maxi dress from Old Navy. Shirt and flops from American Eagle. Lucy, my robot necklace, and belt from Forever 21.)

HUZZAH!!!!! I'M DONE!!!!!

Ohmygoodcrap, you guys (yes, I did combine those words for crazy effect) I am so excited to wear other clothes. And to not have to take my picture for a few days. AND TO WEAR OTHER COLORS!

Okay, excited freak out over. Mostly. It's still happening in my head.

I also just want to share with you that when you're having a bad weekend, as I was, here are some things that can really cheer you up:

1. Spending time with Miss Madison McCormick. That kid is freaking adorable. We took pictures of ourselves (mostly our noses, as Maddie was in charge of pointing), we discussed ad nauseam the wonderfulness of the Denver Broncos (sorry, Matt...I have to correct your mistakes), and we waltzed around the living room. It was fabulous.

2. Have a spontaneous dance party with your roommate to the most ridiculous songs you can think of. We chose Dive by Steven Curtis Chapman, Jesus is Just Alright by DC Talk, What the Hell by Avril Lavigne, and ET by Katy Perry. At one point, I also put on my pointe shoes and danced around on my toes.

3. Receive messages from your friends cheering you up. To all those who sent them, thanks. It really did help.

4. Spend time hugging your long lost clothes. I mean...I didn't do that...that'd be weird.

I don't know if I'll be back for a couple days, because I have a 20 page paper on women in ministry to write. It's going to be loads of fun.

Actually...you'll probably see me tomorrow, too. ;)

Sad Day

2011-05-02T18:36:00.001-07:00

(Sweater: Express. Jeans: Gap. Toms.)

I'm dubbing this "Worst Weekend Ever." First, I was super sick Saturday. Super sick. Which is why this picture doesn't show my face. Trust me. It's for the best.

(LC jeans, Toms again, American Eagle shirt and cardi.)

I wasn't much better on Sunday. A little, but not much. And this was the day of true horror. I had to teach a lesson (for one of my classes). After this, I would have been totally done with this class. I would have been able to say "One class down, 3 to go." I taught the lesson. (My wonderful fellowship group listened to me babble about women in ministry for 35 minutes.) The video recorded 15 minutes of it. Which means I have to do it over. Really, really bad news.

(LC jeans; Forever 21 tank; that really old sweater that's under my sample jacket so you can't see it. American Eagle flops. Fabulous purse from Aldo.)

Then today it snowed. It is May 2. I am so over snow.

Plus, I just found out one of my funny blogs is shutting down. While the blogger didn't post often, they were always good. So that is sad.

Basically, it's been a rough weekend. I could really use some cheering up.

Thankfully, tomorrow is the last day of the 30 for 30! I'm ridiculously excited to see/wear my other clothes again. It's going to be like getting a whole new wardrobe or something. I think Wednesday may be the hardest time I'll ever have getting dressed. What do I wear?! Anyway, I was pondering the idea of continuing with some type of style blog thing, and I was going to let you all vote on it. But let's face it. Whenever I ask you all to comment/vote, I get nothing. So comment if you want. But I'm pretty excited to not have my picture taken for awhile. It means I probably won't be brushing my hair for a few days.

Hot Mess

2011-04-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

(Tank: Target; Cardi: Target; Pants: LC jeans; Flops: American Eagle; Earrings: gift from Katie; Fact: I'm too lazy to link those.)

Guys. Bad news. There are no pictures of day 25. Because when Jenn came over to watch the draft, Lizzy got really excited. And peed on me. So there are no pictures. But I wore that gingham shirt, my boyfriend jeans, these same flops...I think that was it. I mean...it was cuter than it sounds. Sorry y'all couldn't see it.

More bad news. I'm a hot mess. I thought all day that I was having a super horrible allergy attack. But as I type this, I'm eating Ramen. And enjoying it. Which can only mean one thing. I'm sick. I think it's just a cold, but that also explains the grumperton face in all those pictures. And the fact that my nose is bright red.

Even more bad news. I know, I know. But as I sit here, sick and grumpy, I also have only a short while before I have to get ready. For a hoedown.

Stop laughing.

I'm sure I'll have stories later. Right now I'm far too tired.

I'll end this on a positive note, though. I am super happy about the Bronco's pick in the first round of the draft. I think Von Miller will be a great addition to our team, and also, I LOVE that he cried. A lot. So adorable.

I'll see y'all tomorrow, Lord willing. ;)

Girly

2011-04-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

(Skirt: Old Navy; Shirt: American Eagle. Tights: KMart. Do NOT buy tights at KMart. They are awful. Boots: DSW. Belt: Forever 21. Earrings: Mom's from the 70s. Necklace: Aldo, picked out for me by the world's best Aldo worker, a fabulous guy. Yes. Fabulous.)

First, let me just say that I am behind. I know. I was very busy yesterday. I had to watch Friday Night Lights with Denise. (BTW, go to her blog. She has been totally rockin' this challenge.) Anyway, these are yesterday's pictures. Today's have not been taken yet. They will. Jenn doesn't know it yet, but that's our activity for during the commercials of the NFL Draft.

Okay, so Tuesday night I was at my girls' Bible study. (It's possible that since they're all married, and three are moms, I should say "women's" but I just can't.) We're doing the Beth Moore Esther study, and we watched the dvd this time. She was talking about Esther, and then she said something that I totally need to hear every now and then.

"God did not get confused. He knows you're a girl."

Yup. I don't remember the specific context, but I think I lept out of my seat with joy. Because sometimes I don't do a very good job at being a girl. (For example, I didn't brush my hair for 6 days last week. And also, I know more about football than most guys. And I don't do "feelings" talks.) Anyway, apparently that sunk in because I decided to wear a dress, curl my hair, and pose next to some pretty flowers.

So for the next few days, expect me to be acting a little more girly.

Oh, Frabjous Day!

2011-04-26T14:57:00.000-07:00

(Pants: Um...Kohls, maybe? Toms. Gap shirt that you're probably sick of. Forever 21 cardi. Fabulous glasses by Morgs. Disco ball earrings from American Eagle. And the love of my life: iced chai.)

So it occurred to me this morning that I haven't done a Monday Musing in awhile. This is not because I haven't mused about anything, but because lately my brain is too full of school, trying to find a job, trying to figure out ANOTHER outfit, and surviving the 40 Days of Water to write anything coherent. And as today is Tuesday, I am far too busy to write something meaningful.

Instead, I want you all to watch this video. It made me cry a little bit, which is no small feat.

Also, I feel like you all should recognize the utter joy on my face in these pictures. I tried to look serious and pensive for some of them, but ended up still smiling. Why? Because it's Tuesday and I got an iced chai on my way to class.

Seriously, if anyone ever wanted to win my heart, all they'd have to do is buy me an iced chai.

And it wouldn't hurt if they introduced me to some Broncos.

BTW, new lesson learned about Denver: people here are weird about coffee. Never in the Springs did I get so much flack for going to Starbucks. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Morgan and Rex.)

Ummm....

2011-04-25T13:56:00.001-07:00

(Cardi: American Eagle. Jeans: Target. Flops: American Eagle. T-shirt: Gap.)

Guys...I have a confession to make. I was extremely bad about picture taking this weekend. So...here's the one picture I have from Saturday. Amanda took it, and then I put on her Snuggie and we played Rock Band until her neighbor came up the second time to yell at us.

(Jeans: Gap. Cardi: American Eagle. Shirt: J Crew Outlet. Flops you can't see: American Eagle.)

Bigger confession: While this is the exact outfit I wore on Sunday, this picture was taken today. I was busy celebrating the resurrection of Christ, alright? Also, the self-timer on my camera and I were not getting along, so that's why you don't get to see the bottom of this outfit.

(Shirt: J Crew Outlet. Jeans: LC. Toms.)
And today....well...I almost didn't get dressed at all. As I have Mondays off, and was extremely busy and important all weekend, I have spent most of the day doing homework. There's a good chance I won't actually leave the house, other than to walk Lizzy. So I thought, "Maybe today is a sweatpants day." But then I realized that I would then have to do another outfit after Denise is finished, and I threw on the most comfortable outfit I could figure out of the 30.

I might be putting sweats back on soon. No promises.

At least you get a little glimpse of days 20, 21, and 22. Only 8 more! And guess what? Lent is over, so I can drink coffee and whatnot ALL WEEK! Watch out world. Kristy's got caffeine again.

*I deeply apologize for the fact that I only have one pose this week, too. Apparently it's a hands-on-hips kind of weekend.

AWK

2011-04-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

(Cardi: American Eagle. Shirt: American Eagle. Flops: American Eagle. Safest place to buy me a present: American Eagle. Jeans: LC. Scarf: borrowed from Kimber. Fancy new glasses: made by Morgs.)

It's a list kind of day.

1. My high school AP Lit teacher was infamous for writing "awk" all over our papers. By it, he meant something in the general vicinity of his hastily scrawled writing was awkward. Sometimes, when awkward things happen to me, I hear that in my head.

2. Today has been more awkward than usual.

3. Morgan D'Avis helped me pick out these fabulous new glasses and even put them all together! Thanks, Morgs. My driving skills have improved greatly, and my neighbors like me more.

4. When the wind blows, sometimes your scarf chokes you.

5. I didn't have a proper lunch today. Which was fine until about 5 minutes ago, when I started craving all types of food. I think that's called "hunger."

6. Sorry for the squintiness in these pictures. My fabulous new glasses are not sunglasses, so I was blinded by the light.

7. Today is Good Friday. I am very thankful for this day, and I am very excited about church tonight. Good Friday services are among my favorites.

8. You are all very bad at participating in blogs.

9. I miss my clothes. My other clothes. The ones that are not blue or grey.

10. Sunday is Easter! And while I'm excited for obvious reasons, I'm also excited because that means the awful 40 days of water thing is over. Hallelujah, Christ is risen indeed!

Funky Juju Bee

2011-04-21T18:20:00.001-07:00

(Cardi: American Eagle. Shirt, or as the president of my seminary called it, "blouse": gift from the madre. Pants: Banana Republic. Crazy big necklace: American Eagle. Shoes: Target. Creeper behind me: typical.)

We're taking a poll. (By "we," I do actually mean Lizzy and I. Though she doesn't seem that interested...) The name of the poll is "What Would You Describe Kristy's Style As?"

Some examples:

1) 80s rock. But not bad 80s....apparently.

2) Funky juju bee

3) Alternative, since that's what they say when they don't know how to describe music.

4) Alternative, because I have a nose ring. (No joke. This was said to me once.)

5) Eccentric (well...I haven't brushed my hair in a couple days, so I guess this is legit.)

Any ideas? I know y'all are reading this. I discovered the "stats" button on my blog. So start commenting. Cause otherwise I'm just talking to myself. Which is what crazy people do.

Annie Oakley

2011-04-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

(Hey, look! It's my fave gingham shirt from J Crew outlet again. I'm so predictable. Cardi: Target. Dress I only seem to wear as a skirt: Urban Outfitters. Tights: Urban Outfitters--except now I really wish I owned these. Shoes: Target. Belt: Forever 21. Necklace: stolen from my mother. Again. What? She kept all her jewelry from basically her whole life, so she has all this fabulous stuff from the 70s. So sue me. (Look! I steal phrases from the 90s, too.))

I got a Groupon (or the other brand of that, I don't remember which) today for "concealed weapon classes." Here's how I feel about that:

1. I had no idea you could take classes on concealed weapons. A certain someone I know probably should have signed up for it. I'm sure they'd teach you about how to not conceal it in your sock.

2. I should probably not be allowed to own a weapon, much less conceal it.

3. Who exactly does Groupon think I am? I thought these things were supposed to be at least mildly tailored to you.

4. Maybe it is tailored to me, and they'll teach me about concealing my wooden stake and/or silver bullets, in case of those pesky vampire/werewolf attacks...

5. I should really stop reading Dracula before bed.

Don't Be Fooled

2011-04-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

(Jeans: LC. That amazing Gap shirt. My sweater from 1982. Toms. Hat: Handmade by Garan. She's super talented.)

This is the only picture taken from Day 15 of the challenge. The halfway point, and I didn't even manage to capture it! But here's the truth of the matter. I got dressed at approximately 5pm, went to the Rockies game, and froze to death. So this is as good as it gets.

(Shirt: J Crew Outlet. Skirt: Urban Outfitters. Boots: DSW. Belt: Forever 21. Socks: Urban Outfitters. Headband: Handmade by me! I am not super talented, though. I just hotglued some ribbon onto a headband from Hobby Lobby.)

I am exhausted and sicky. I blame the horrid weather from yesterday. (Do not listen to people who will tell you the weather was not "horrid." They clearly were not sitting in the Rockpile at Coors Field, wearing a child's hoodie.) And I also blame that crazy Tony from P90X. I am quite positive that doing "banana-Superman" over and over is not good for my health.

Meanwhile, I have already changed into sweats. Because I am now home doing homework and trying to not die of this sickness that has taken over my body. And thus, this outfit lasted a whole 3 hours. Tomorrow, I'll shoot for half the day.

Big City

2011-04-17T15:43:00.001-07:00

(Jeans: Target. Again. Don't make fun of me. Shoes: Target. Shirt: American Eagle. Necklace: American Eagle. I can't link anything from American Eagle because I only shop their clearance and then I wear it for 54 years. Sunglasses: Anthropologie. Fabulous green tea: Panera.)

Kimber and I go to church in downtown Denver, which is fun and adventurous. Today after church, some of us went to Panera (yay for Feast Day!) and we passed this bench. We felt very urban taking pictures there. Also, a little silly. LOTS of people walked by. There was also a sign of an e.e. cummings poem, which I loved, but let me just tell you, those were not my best pictures. So just know that I loved it.

Also, we stopped at Buffalo Exchange (don't worry, I didn't cheat--Denise and I made a stipulation that we could forgo the 30 for 30 for our "seminary prom," so I only bought clothes for that. Which was legal.) and Kimber got the most fabulous hat! So we took her picture, too!

A Picture Book

2011-04-16T19:36:00.000-07:00

There once was a girl with a blog. She had been uploading pictures of herself for 12 days, and she was tired of looking lonely. So her friends joined in the adventure!

They went to dinner and shopping in a trendy, hipster kind of place.

At dinner, they told fabulous tales of knights defeating evil gunslingers, of the chivalry of anchormen, and of Brie.

The girl, wearing pieces from her challenge, found new inspiration for words and pictures.

They dreamed dreams of floppy hats, Kentucky Derbys, and gourmet cupcakes.

As they walked, they bonded over their taste for expensive things at inexpensive prices, which eluded them on this trip.

There were baby clothes made out of bamboo.

Then they ventured to a bookstore, where the girl bought books by Irish and French men.

The bookstore is beautiful.

And that is the story of a day with friends.

(Btw, here's the breakdown: Jeans: Target. Shirt: Target (similar). Cardi: American Eagle. Flops: American Eagle. Crazy feather earrings: made from the feathers of a wild emu. Or from Target. I can't remember which. Bracelets: Have had for so long, I think they actually are from 1892. Purse: Online accidental purchase. Sunglasses: Anthropologie.)

The Foo

2011-04-15T20:59:00.001-07:00

(Shirt: Forever 21. Cardi: Forever 21. Kristy: Not actually 21. Jeans: Gap. Boots: DSW. Earrings: Express. Sunglasses that make me "alternative": Target. A not-alternative store. Also, all of this is so old, I can't link a single thing.)

It took me a really long time to actually get out of bed this morning. And then I literally went to my 30 items and said, "What haven't I worn yet?" And then I threw this on.

However, after I got it on, I realized that I actually kind of liked it. I wish there wasn't so much gray, but whatevs. But I think it was subconsciously inspired by the new love of my life.

You guys, have you heard the new Foo Fighters' album?! It. Is. Amazing. I listen to it NON-STOP. And loudly. Because they told me to. (Seriously. On the wrapping for the cd it said, "Please play at maximum volume." When Dave Grohl says "jump," I say "how high?")

Favorite songs:

1. These Days

2. Burning Bridges

3. Rope

4. Arlandria

5. Dear Rosemary

6. White Limo

Notice that I listed 6 out of 11 songs as "favorites." And the other ones are also amazing. I don't dislike a single song. Which, I think, is impressive. AND they recorded the entire album in Dave Grohl's garage on analog tape. Not digital computers.

The Foo Fighters are my heros. I love them. So I felt kind of rock in this outfit. Like I could've hung with Dave and Taylor and they'd be like, "Yeah. You're cool."

Crazy

2011-04-14T14:52:00.001-07:00

(Hey! It's that fabulous J Crew gingham shirt again! Maxi dress: Old Navy. Shoes: Target. Belt: Forever 21. Ring: stolen from my mother. Bracelet: 40 Days of Water. Watch: Fossil. Necklace: Kohl's.)

You guys. It is -34 degrees outside.

Okay, so it's maybe not that cold. But it was cold. As evidenced by my face in these pictures. I don't do cold well.

But I was looking forward to this outfit ALL WEEK. No joke. I came up with it on Sunday and then decided to save it for a day where I would have more fun things. So I picked Thursday. And then it snowed.

I decided it wasn't bad enough to go with a different outfit. But I am wearing leggings under that maxi.

All this to say, I'm a little crazy. Ironically, my friend Steve Gross and I were talking about this very thing this morning. Not related to my clothes, of course. But I said, "My saving grace is that I know I'm crazy." You know, so I can fight against it. Or something.

He said, "At least you're pretty."

Thanks, Steve.

Ms. Whaley

2011-04-13T14:34:00.000-07:00

(Sweater: Express. I love that sweater. If they still had them, I'd buy 5 more. Pants: Banana Republic. Shoes: Target. Necklace: Forever 21 (similar). Glasses: soon to be replaced because look at how half of my eye is above the rim.) (Also, are you wondering what I wrote there? It's a funny quote from my friend, Seth. "If Biblical studies majors are the nerds studying in the library, theology majors are the hippies smoking pot in the corner." So true, Seth. So true.)

A few years ago, I was a teacher. Of 7th graders.

I know.

I taught literature.

I know.

Anyway, I think one of my favorite parts was writing on the white board. That did not in any way leave me after middle school. I wanted to write on it ALL the time. However, I had 3 classes of all boys, and turning around was the absolute worst thing to do. So for those classes, I used the very old-fashioned overhead.

Anyway, some of my girls were really big fans of me. (Being a middle school teacher is a great ego boost sometimes.) They decided to try to look like me. Which I never really got, because nothing about my style (at least then) was particularly "unique." Throw on some stripes, and you've nailed it.

Plus, they wore uniforms, so it was even harder. But one day I wore a Post-It note saying "Fruit Salad" (we teachers had to do what we could to keep morale up), and the next day, the girls all had Post-It notes. That said all sorts of weird food. It was cute. Or weird. You decide.

But when I got these glasses, I wore them to school one day. And the girls LOVED them. I mean, they told me all sorts of back-handed compliments all day long. "Ms. Whaley, you look SO SMART!" "Ms. Whaley, your glasses make you SO PRETTY." "Ms. Whaley, I wasn't here for two weeks, so I get an automatic A on the test, right?"

The next day, I did not wear my glasses. They were very upset. And I will tell you now what I told my fellow teacher, Megan, then:

It is HARD to put on makeup when you can't see more than an inch in front of your face.

Class of 2011

2011-04-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

Amazing T-shirt of wonderment: Gap. Cardi: Target. Pants: I have no idea. Shoes: Target. Necklace: Gift from Jenn. Fabulous log: outside our seminary.

Denise and I had a splendid time taking pictures today, what with the fun posing on a log provides. I'm pleased to say we only fell a few times.

Also, we were laughing about how some of them look like senior pictures. Cause apparently we're headed down that road. I mean, Denise did it yesterday, too. I'm just following the trend.

I have many papers of brilliance to write. And also, some horrible junk food to eat. Because grocery shopping takes time. Ordering pizza does not.

Have a fabulous Tuesday/whenever you're reading this! If you get bored, we can go pose on a log!

Monday Musings: Cry Out

2011-04-11T18:30:00.001-07:00

Jeans: LC Lauren Conrad for Kohls. Pink shirt you can barely see: My mom brought it back from Cali. Cardi: American Eagle. Scarf: borrowed from Kimber! Shoes: Toms. And my cute little dog that let me take a picture! Yay!

Psalm 72:12-13 reads, "For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death."

Several years ago, my mom noticed that I was having a hard time, and she said, "Sometimes, Kristy, you just need to cry out to God." And she showed me these verses. Ever since, I have often cried out, though usually it just ended up me crying.

I think that having a deadline to "known" in your life is stressful. For me, that deadline is quickly approaching. I graduate in a month, and after that, I have no idea what I'll be doing. My lease is up in 2 months, and after that, I have no idea where I'll be living. It is a lot to deal with.

And I didn't deal very well. I let it all pile up. The not knowing, the stress, the fear. I let it all pile up, and then Sunday I lost strength to hold that really heavy pile. I didn't see it coming, but it was like a tsunami when it did. Thankfully, most of my breakdowns were with people I like, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Sunday night, after a day of crying, I lay in my bed and cried out to God. I didn't expect an answer. I didn't even really expect anything except maybe a relief in the form of sleep. But I prayed to God, told Him I couldn't bear it anymore.

It's hard to explain what it's like for God to just wash you in His love. It's a feeling, like you're being rocked. It's a sense of calm, for no reason. But that's what happened. And then verses started coming into my head.

Psalm 138:8, "the LORD will fulfill His purpose for me. LORD, Your love is eternal; do not abandon the work of Your hands."

Romans 5:5, "This hope does not disappoint, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Psalm 27:13-14, "I am certain that I will see the LORD's goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be courages and let your heart be strong. Wait for the LORD."

Matthew 6:34, "Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Mark 9:24, "...'I do believe! Help my unbelief.'"

I woke up this morning knowing nothing had changed. I still have no idea what will happen, where I will live, what I will do. But I also know that it's okay. Because while the situation hasn't changed, my heart has.

God's in charge. He has a plan. I'll just wait for Him to let me in on it.

Feast Day

2011-04-10T15:54:00.001-07:00

Today is "Feast Day" in Lent. Basically, on Sundays you get to have whatever you gave up. Since I'm only supposed to drink water the other 6 days, I have already had a venti iced chai (my ABSOLUTE favorite drink) from Starbucks and a Butterscotch latte from Stella's. My Stella's boyfriend also convinced me to buy a very cute cup thing. I love feast day.

Jenn came to have lunch, so I made her take pictures of me. Terrible idea. For those of you who have ever seen Jenn and I together, you know why. For the rest of you, just know every other picture is of me laughing hysterically. Kim's my photographer tomorrow. However, Jenn did tell me that I need to stop telling you all how awkward I feel about this picture thing, so I'm trying to do that. Today was not awkward. Today was funny. Funny and unproductive.

That shirt I'm wearing is in the top 5 of "Greatest Wardrobe Purchases Ever" for me. It's from J Crew Outlet (thanks, Katherine!) and to say I love it would be an understatement. Expect to see it a lot in the next 23 days. Those Gap jeans again (I really will wear a different pair one day...it's just that it was too cold for the cuffed jeans today). Those fabulous Target heels I love. My jacket is actually a sample jacket I got from Ronalee when she worked at American Eagle. Best part--they never actually sold it, so I have never seen anyone else with it. And the necklace is also from American Eagle--I got it when I was shopping for Ronalee's wedding. It reminds me of her. :)

Two Birds, One Post

2011-04-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

I was very busy and important yesterday. I could not post. Plus, I almost didn't even capture this outfit. Which, let's face it, would not have been a tragedy. Cause...well. It's not fabulous. Gap jeans, American Eagle shirt. Forever 21 necklace. And Toms. I do love those Toms. (For those who don't know, Toms are shoes with a cause. Go here to see what that is.) Also, who thinks, "I know! I'll pose awkwardly on a chair. And only take 3 pictures, so I HAVE to use this awkward chair picture!"Today's outfit is much better. See? It's got yellow in it, to signify the coming of summer.
Plus, Kim took these pictures in our house, so I got to stare lovingly at books, rather than awkwardly.

And Lizzy joined in! We got a couple pictures of her, but she looks terrified in the other ones, so this is all you get to see. This is what it looks like everyday when I come home. She is super excited...to go on a walk. Anyway, I like this outfit okay, but I wish it wasn't so matchy-matchy. Too much yellow and grey. However, that shirt is a fabulous find from the J Crew outlet (thanks to my friend Katherine who generously loaned me her discount), the dress is Urban Outfiters (yes...that's a dress), leggings from Target. The headband I got off Etsy, but I don't remember what store. Sorry. And the flops are American Eagle. Oh, and the hipster bun is inspired by Awkwardly Chic. Though not pulled off as well.

So yesterday, as I said, I was very busy. (The "important" part was an exaggeration.) In the morning, I heard Rob Bell talk with one of my professors at my school. It was many things. Interesting being the chosen P.C. word we seminarians like to use when someone asks us what we thought and we don't know yet what side they're on. So we say, "It was interesting." And then watch their facial expression closely. And then still don't really know. I have many thoughts on the subject, though. But I don't know if I'll put them here. Lots of people are blogging about him, and I'm not sure yet if I want to be one of those. But I will tell you my thoughts if you ask me in person.

After that, I watched Easy A. If you haven't seen it, and you love John Hughes or good stories or life itself, you should. Just watch this. Because I, too, want Judd Nelson to thrust his fist in the air for me.

After that, I served at the Denver Rescue Mission. It was a really great experience, and I got to talk to a guy who went through the program and was able to go to culinary school because of DRM. And now he's volunteering there, to give back. It was a really awesome story, and I am so glad I got to meet him.

When all this was over, and I got to Denise's for season 5 of Friday Night Lights, I finally had her take those pictures. So I had about 1 ounce of energy, I smelled a bit, and I had salad dressing on my shirt. But FNL was amazing, as always.

Remember to check out Denise's blog, too! She looked super cute yesterday! I can't vouch for today, but I assume she's nailed it again.

A Haiku

2011-04-07T22:08:00.001-07:00

Dress pants are awful.

How do you style dress pants?

I love me some jeans.

Tank top: Target; Cardi: American Eagle like 3 years ago...; Shoes: Target; Pants: I have no idea, they're stupid dress pants. Jeans that made my outfit so much happier: Gap. Earrings: Target.

Apparently today's sponsor is Target.

Sad Daddy Goose

2011-04-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

Pants: Banana Republic; Shoes: Target; Shirt/sweater thing: American Eagle; Hooded Sweater: I've had it since approximately 1962, much to the chagrin of my mother who thinks I ought to throw it away. This from the woman who won't get rid of my boxer shorts from when I was 12 and had no butt yet. Necklace: Forever 21.

Yesterday, I told y'all via one of the too-many-social-media-word-vomit-websites I have that there was a killer goose on the Den Sem parking lot grounds. There has been a major update in the goose story.

I came into work today, and I drove past the sight I've been seeing for days now. One goose laying seemingly randomly in the parking lot, the other standing on one foot looking pissed as hell. Only today, I noticed some stuff around the laying-down goose. And I thought, somehow, it looked sad. And then I found out that indeed these geese were defending their nest--full of eggs--against the unaware Sem students.

Except now those eggs are dead.

Apparently there were so many goose attacks that the maintenance people had to destroy the nest. And the eggs. And so now the mommy goose is just laying on top of her poor, dead egg babies, and the daddy goose is standing by his woman, looking pissed and sad.

Let's all have a moment of silence in respect of the tragedy that befell the goose family.

.....

In other news, I just learned approximately 10 minutes ago when looking at these pictures just how incredibly unflattering that shirt/sweater thing is. Wow. It bunches in all the wrong places. Soooo...

Also, I had planned on not wearing that cream colored sweater, which is why there are pictures of me standing in the freezing cold with no sweater. The things we do in the name of fashion. I would like to make a formal complaint about the clouds of Mordor that set in over Colorado today.

What do you think? More or less awkward pictures today? I was very unaware of the unflattering-ness, so I felt more comfortable. Perhaps that was the incorrect feeling. But, I did break out one of my favorite make up items. My red lip stain. That's right, people. I'm not wearing lipstick here. I'm wearing lip stain. It's like coloring in your lips with a marker. And who doesn't love that?

Purple Tights

2011-04-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

I realize that my tights look purple in these pictures, but they're not. Denise called them magenta, and I tend to agree. However, when I was walking through the seminary parking lot, an older male student said, "Purple tiiiights!! Alright!" It was awkward. You know, the theme of the week.

Though I think we did slightly better on these pictures. Denise had all sorts of good comments about lighting and thirds and whatnot. I still can't pose.

Also, my hair today is brought to you by our sponsor, Sheer Laziness. Hope you enjoy it.

Oh, and that one picture--you know, the one you laughed at. I told Denise that my cardi reminded me of a cape. So I posed like Superman.

Lastly, I was informed that I'm supposed to tell you "who I'm wearing." So here goes. Cardi, earrings, and shoes: Target. Skirt and tights: Urban Outfiters. The most wonderous t-shirt ever made, of which I own 3 colors: Gap. There. I am now a responsible style blogger.
And because I failed so miserably yesterday, I tried again to put up the pictures of all my clothes. And here they are! So there you go. My 30 items, laid nicely on my dog's chewed up blanket next to her "indestructible" dinosaur. That's missing a face, cause she chewed it off.

Remix!

2011-04-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, get ready. This is all about clothes.

So I've told y'all (see? I'm using it!) about this 30 for 30 Remix a couple of times. If you forgot, just click on that link again. But anyway, today was Day 1!! I know. I can just FEEL your excitement.

Denise and I are pretty excited about this. And by excited, I mean kind of horrified. But you should follow her blog, too. Cause then you can see a) how much better she is at this, b) my excellent photography skills, and c) what the remix looks like for someone who owns more than 2 skirts.

So you all know the way I'm planning on going about this, I do plan on posting my outfits everyday....ish. Cause there may be a day I forget. But this way, I will remember what I wore. And hopefully not wear it again. And also, this way you all can participate in the extreme awkwardness that is "Kristy trying to model." Some days, I will post a regular blog, and throw a couple pictures in at the end. Some days it may just be the pictures. Some days I may have a hilarious story that goes with the pictures. You just never know here at "Oh, the places you will go..."

I tried real hard to put up pictures of my 30 items, but it's not happening. Maybe I'll do it sometime. Maybe I'll just let y'all figure it out. But it's 3 jeans, 3 dress pants. 2 skirts, and 2 dresses. 6 sweaters, because I am cold 95% of the time. 8 shirts. And 6 shoes. Honestly, there was a time in this whole process that I really thought, "Hey. 30 things. That's no biggie! I can totally do this." I am rethinking that nonchalant attitude I had. Because let's just look at something. While I feel like I have a lot of pants to choose from (I HATE wearing pants too many times in a row, so 6 pants was about as limited as I get), I have 8 shirts. That pretty much guarantees that if you see me once a week, you'll be seeing the same shirt a lot. And I only get 1 pair of flops. Which is sad. But I was too nervous about April in Colorado to not have boots. So there we go. My 30 items.

Now, for the part that you may enjoy. (Or may not. I don't know. It depends on how much enjoyment you get out of seeing me feel very uncomfortable.) Denise and I took pictures of each other, so you all can see what we are wearing. Which is a lot harder than it sounds. Because we really wanted to take pictures that were cute and not just us awkwardly staring at the camera.

So instead, I'm awkwardly staring at books.

We went to our library, cause the wind was a little chilly. Then Denise said, "Okay, go pose." And the following images are what I apparently think "posing" is.

Whatnot

2011-03-31T16:39:00.000-07:00

I just want you all to know that if I ever, for some incredibly unknown reason, write a big ol' systematic theology book, one chapter (or volume, depending on which theologian I'm being verbose like) will be called "Whatnot."

It will include, though is not limited to, why God loves the Broncos, the theological implications of The Princess Bride, and how my dog is in touch with the spiritual forces. Whatever those are.

Speaking of my dog, here's how our walk just went: We encountered 3 dogs. Which meant that I was saying, "Lizzy! Lizzy, stop choking yourself!" And she was saying, "DOG!!! I MUST ATTACK THE DOG!!!! STOP PULLING ON MY NECK!!!" My dog. Not the brightest crayon in the box. But the most distractable. (Yes, I did just make up that word.)

I got my hair did yesterday. (Can I say that? Am I too white? What's more important, am I too lazy about my hair to really brag about getting it "did"?) The pink is back with a bang, and I know you're all VERY excited. I had some difficulty in not looking like I had the world's largest nose AND capturing the pink. So instead, you get this. Someday I will maybe have someone take these pictures for me. That would require me being less of a hermit, though.

Also, do you see how my hair and my sweater matched? My professor noticed, too. That was awkward.

Guess what is FANTASTIC news? I am halfway through the 40 Days of Water! And I have only cheated once! And that time I ended up feeling so guilty, I didn't even finish the drink. I am pretty proud of myself. I'd be prouder if I remembered to log the drinks I've been passing up, though. I'm going to have to go in and just make some stuff up, instead.

The other really exciting (to me) news in my life is that The Great Gatsby has made it into the Final Four of Book Madness. It is the best bracket I've ever seen. Anyway, in honor of the wonderfulness of that book, I thought I'd leave you all with a little excerpt. And then you should go read it. Even if you already have. Fitzgerald should be read more than once. Or twice.

"I can't describe to you how surprised I was to find out I loved her, old sport. I even hoped for a while that she'd throw me over, but she didn't, because she was in love with me too. She thought I knew a lot because I knew different things from her...Well, there I was, 'way off my ambitions, getting deeper in love every minute, and all of a sudden I didn't care. What was the use of doing great things if I could have a better time telling her what I was going to do?"

On the last afternoon before he went abroad, he sat with Daisy in his arms for a long, silent time. It was a cold fall day, with fire in the room and her cheeks flushed. Now and then she moved and he changed his arm a little, and once he kissed her dark shining hair. The afternoon had made them tranquil for a while, as if to give them a deep memory for the long parting the next day promised. They had never been closer in their month of love, nor communicated more profoundly one with another, than when she brushed silent lips against his coat's shoulder or when he touched the end of her fingers, gently, ans though she were asleep.

Monday Musings: Direction

2011-03-29T15:21:00.001-07:00

So...technically, this is a Tuesday Musing. But that sounds real dumb.

I got this blue, leather, NIV Bible when I was in high school. It's the good kind of Bible--you know, the kind with the super thin paper that apparently only Bibles can be printed on. And the good silver on the edges of the paper so that the Bible looks fancy. And I would underline verses in glitter pen. (Eventually, I stopped buying glitter pens. So things underlined after approximately 2003 are in various colored gel.) It has notes, doodles, and the "Certificate of Marriage" page ripped out. Because if you just let the Bible fall open, that is 100% of the time the page it would open to. I got mad one day and ripped it out. Thankfully, the Certificate of Marriage page is not cannonized, so I didn't lose any valuable Scripture.

Then, on Sunday, the thing that happens to well-used Bibles happened.

The cover fell off.

The front cover, too. And the first three pages. So I lost the copyright page, and probably some other pages I didn't really know were there. So the first page is now the title page..."The Holy Bible."

Which would be fine if the page wasn't that ultra-fine, almost see-through paper. So I had to go buy a new Bible.

The new one is also blue. And has the thin paper, the silver edges, etc. But it's smaller, so it fits in my purse. And it has a little clasp to keep it closed. Hopefully, this will keep the cover from falling off too soon.

It also has a page in the back called "Where to Turn." Where to turn when you are blue. When your past haunts you. When you worry. When you are bored.

I skimmed over these headings, looking for ones that might be interesting or funny. And then I saw, "When you need direction." I figure I need direction about once every two hours. I have a terrible sense of direction. So I flipped to the recommended verses.

Psalm 138:8

The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me. LORD, Your love is eternal; do not abandon the work of Your hands.

And I realized that so often, as I wonder what horrible things lay in my future, I don't believe this verse.

I think that a lot of times, I believe that since I became a Christian, I have to suffer horrible things. Like, if I tell God that I will move wherever He wants me, I'll end up in Minnesota. (Not that it's a terrible place. But I hate hate hate the cold. So for me, it's a terrible place.) Or that since I told God that I'll follow His will, even if that means I don't get married, that I won't get married. That I'll end up the crazy cat lady or something.

So when I read a verse that says that God loves me and wants to fulfill His work in me, why do I think that work is bad?

I think that sometimes God does call us to struggle. He sometimes has us go through difficult situations to make us stronger. Sometimes we have to go through difficult situations just because the world is fallen, too. And God is sad with us. But never are these situations because He's mad at us, because He's trying to make us miserable, or because He's just a little bit mean.

I took Doctrine of God one semester. Guess what characteristic isn't listed as one of God's? Yup. Meanness.

So I think that, while I'm in this season of BIG change in my life, waiting on a job, trying to finish school, and figure out what my life outside of college looks like, I'm going to remember this verse. God will fulfill His purpose in me. God loves me. God needs to work in me.

(I figure these can also be read as: God has a plan for me, God loves me, and God knows I'm not perfect.)

I'm kind of glad my trusty old Bible fell apart. See? God had a plan.

Hey Y'All

2011-03-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else miss Principal Tami Taylor? No? That's just me?

Perhaps I shouldn't watch Friday Night Lights so often.

I have several very interesting and important things to share with you! (That's partly true.) Firstly, that I applied for a job that I would love to get. Yay! Except now I'm pretty terrified that I won't get it, cause now that I have found this job, all the other jobs I look at pretty much suck. So...

But anyways, prayers would be appreciated. And also, for those of you that I listed as references, please pimp me out hard core. Thank you.

Also, I have been having CRAZY dreams, lately. CRAZY. One night, it was about how I was on the run from the evil queen, and I fell in love with a werewolf named Flint. (Best name for a werewolf? Worst name in general? The answer is yes. To both.) It was full of running through woods, long flowing dresses (the witch...), and a lady cop who resembled the one in Pineapple Express. The next night, I dreamt that I was in love with a vampire with a soul. How lame is that? ;) But also, I was a confessor. I would explain that to you, but it's very nerdy and long. Just know that I always wore white dresses, and I could fight with daggers like nobody's business. The third (yes, THIRD) night, I had a dream that I was a vampire. Obviously with a soul, as I was rescuing dogs from horrible dog fighting rings.

Perhaps I should stop reading Dracula.

In more pertinent news, Denise and I have set a date for the 30 for 30! And I think I've narrowed down some of my clothing options. Anyway, why this is pertinent to you is because Denise and I will both be logging our progress on our blogs. So you get to see what crazy outfits I come up with (and of course, hop on over to Denise's blog to see hers). Hopefully I won't repeat anything. Or look like a bum. Actually, my biggest worry is that I'll revert to my high school self. See, in high school, we had uniforms. We had 5 skirts, 4 polos, and 2 button down shirts. (We also had 2 pairs of pants, but they were the ugliest things I have ever seen, and most girls just didn't wear them.) So at some point, even if the shirt and the skirt didn't really match, no one cared. You got sick of wearing the same 5 outfits over and over.

Hopefully I won't just start throwing things together. Also, I may let you guys vote on a couple pieces of this, as there's a good chance I will become horribly indecisive.

Also, I'm considering starting the P90X, for to get in good graduation shape. Have any of you done it? Did you like it?

And in case you live under a rock, or are named Matthew Kruger and only listen to Christian music, the Foo Fighter's have a new song out. It. is. amazing. Here. Listen.

Anyways, we're down to less than 50 days til graduation! I have about 943 papers to write, so that's fun. And I think somewhere in there, I have to find a job.

But for now, I'm going to finish watching I Want to Marry Ryan Banks. It's ABC Family's greatest masterpiece. That is impossible to find.

Monday Musings: Honesty

2011-03-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be honest about several things today. Brace yourself.

I go between being absolutely terrified I won't find a job after graduation to being absolutely terrified I will. I hate full time jobs. I hate fixed schedules. I hate desks. I also hate being homeless (or imagine I would), so it's a difficult place I'm stuck in.

I shamelessly did not shower today.

I am thrilled that I have found so many great girls to be friends with here in Denver. I feel like I can call someone almost any day and have great lunch plans, a shopping buddy, or a date to a movie. I have had fabulous talks with some of these girls, and my heart is happier for it.

I miss boys.

Sometimes while I was in seminary, God seemed really big and distant and complicated. He seemed like many of my textbooks--difficult to read. But lately, He's seemed like my friend. He's seemed near. And that has been so wonderful.

I do not care that driving to Colorado Springs to get my oil changed is ridiculous, seeing that Cute Tire Guy is totally worth it.

I have had days where I don't even notice that I only drank water. I forget that I hate water, or that my real passion is sweet tea. Today is not one of those days.

I love my family. I think they're amazing. If I started a compound, they would have to live on it, because I am 100% sure that I would be a disaster without each and every one of them.

My dog has an amazing life, and I would like to trade places with her for a day. I'm pretty sure she would cause some serious chaos in my actual life, but man would I get some good sleep.

I don't know how to fix this blog. I have basically given up.

The Luck of the Irish

2011-03-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

Instead of writing my 10 page paper on Karl Barth, I decided to make my blog more festive.

This was a big mistake.

As you can tell, I have done something horrible to it instead. All I wanted to do was change the font color. After some horrible changes, some extreme confusion, and some basic hatred of all things technological, I have decided that it is a lost cause. At least for now.

If anyone can fix this, I would be SO grateful.

I was going to give you all some wonderful St. Patty's day wisdom. Some kind of "Yay for the greatest holiday of the year" cheer.

But I'm about to kill my laptop out of sheer confusion. Plus, now I really do need to write that paper.

Instead, here's the Prayer of St. Patrick, that I lazily stole from my fellowship group posting. It's long. But Barth's Church Dogmatics are much longer, and you all don't have to figure out what to say about that.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Enjoy being Irish (if only for today).

Lorica of Saint Patrick

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
Of the Creator of creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ’s birth and His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion and His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection and His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In service of archangels,
In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs,
In preachings of the apostles,
In faiths of confessors,
In innocence of virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea,
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.

I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me;
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s hosts to save me
From snares of the devil,
From temptations of vices,
From every one who desires me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone or in a mulitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and evil,
Against every cruel merciless power that opposes my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of women and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul.
Christ shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that reward may come to me in abundance.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the Threeness,
Through a confession of the Oneness
Of the Creator of creation

2011-03-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

I have virtually nothing to say, but it was either this or check facebook for the 8 millionth time. Since no one has updated their relationship status as of late, facebook is boring.

Someone go cause some scandal or drama so I can be less bored.

Yesterday, I was in the Springs so I did a load of laundry. And I got home really late, so I left that laundry (now clean) in my trunk (in the basket, not just strewn about). So today, when I was getting ready for work, I realized all my work pants were in that basket. In the trunk. In the cold.

I'm wearing a skirt.

I think I did an alright job with today's outfit, though. Sadly, Shaun White will not see me, so we cannot fall in love over this outfit.

(As the NFL lockout gets more real, I am turning to my new sport love. Snowboarding. It is fascinating stuff, friends. And Louie Vito is now my second favorite snowboarder. Except, why are snowboarders so SHORT? He's only 5'5"!)

Also, I am on day 6 of this only water nonsense. The caffeine headaches have gone away, thank goodness, but the extreme tiredness has not. Nor has my mind returned to functioning level. But I am less angry all the time, so you can all be my friend again. Also, as Jenn and I are attempting to keep each other accountable for eating well and working out, I will have you know that I passed on cupcakes, cookies, AND ice cream sandwiches.

I did, however, eat some homemade Guiness ice cream. It. was. amazing.

Anyways, now that you all know just how sad and boring my life is currently, I'm going to share with you some thoughts on other people's drama. Now known as OPD. You know me. I'm down with OPD.

(I'm also sorry.)

1. Brad picks Emily.
I had heard all sorts of "reliable" rumors that he picked Chantal. But apparently those rumors were not so "reliable." I liked both girls, so I'm happy either way. However, I don't think this pair is going to make it. Because from what I have surmised, Emily's got quite a bit of family money coming her way, and I don't know if it'll make it all the way to Austin. And she seems to be fairly against moving to Austin. So there's hope for a third return of the World's Most Boring Bachelor.
2. In fellowship group on Sunday, a participant suggested that our ice breaker be to state our relationship status. As this participant is one of two regularly attending males, surrounded by 10 or so females, we decided to instead talk about generosity. Dear Participant, We have surrounded you by women. Do some of the leg work yourself in finding out which of these women is eligible and which do not care to marry a chef. Love, the obscene amount of girls in my fellowship group.
3. Weathermen are always wrong, apparently.
I get to say blanket statements like this because I'm friends with one. All I know is that the weather forecast has shown temps in the 60s these past two days, and yet here I am, in fleece lined boots, mildly shivering.
4. Gilbert Gottfried is apparently incapable of human emotion.
I haven't read the whole article, but what I did see was pretty horrible. Definitely too soon, Gilbert. Too soon. (Also, probably those jokes should never be made.)
5. According to Yahoo's news, Mars Needs Moms is on track to be the worst flop ever.
This is entertaining only to me and probably two other people. That is because when we were at the theater to see the theologically unsound Adjustment Bureau, two little kids asked if this was the theater for the Mars movie. When we told them no (by "we" I mean the lady behind us), they gathered up their things and walked out, proclaiming that they knew something was wrong by the age demographics of the theater. (Read: where were all the kids?)

In even less entertaining news, I'm pretty sure my legs are lopsided, One Tree Hill is gone til April, and 30 for 30 starts soon.

Bears, Blogs, Dogs, and Water

2011-03-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

Guess what? UNC is in the basketball NCAA tournament.

Um. No, not that UNC. The UNC I went to. The one in Greeley. You know, the only city in Colorado people don't want to visit.

I wore a yellowish shirt today in their honor. Also, I will probably forget about all this in about two seconds. I don't really care about basketball.

Another shocker for you...I have a second "secret" blog. It's about my creeper stories. Probably I've already told you all about it, but in case I haven't, it's that one on my blog list to the right. It's called "Names Have Been Changed." Though those of you who know me well will probably be able to identify a lot of the people. Anyways, I have been forgetting a lot of my stories. I know I have them. I tell them regularly. But I think it'd be funny to share them with people when I'm old (hence the blog), and I seem to be forgetting them already. So if you remember any I haven't already told, go ahead and let me know.

Moving on. Today is Lizzy's "birthday." I dubbed this her birthday since we don't know what her actual birthday is and this is the anniversary of when I got her. Anyway, it has now been 4 years since my mom said, "Look at that little one standing on all the dog food!" Yes. The first time I saw her, she was standing on a pile of dog food bags, trying to look out a window. I am super happy, too, cause without Lizzy, I would be SO bored all the time. This dog is a constant source of entertainment. For instance, today, I gave her a bone as a birthday present. She sat on the bed whining for quite some time, and is now completely ignoring it while she tries to sneak onto my head.

Perhaps I'd be more willing to let her sit on my head, but dear friends, I am going through serious caffeine withdraw. Yesterday, I decided to take part in the 40 Days of Water thing. Basically, I can only drink water for 40 days (excluding Sundays, PTL) until Easter. What this means is: a) I am excruciatingly tired, b) I have caffeine withdraw headache, c) I now hate water more than asparagus, which is a lot, d) I have apparently lost my ever-loving mind.

See, apparently caffeine was the only thing holding my loose screws in. Yesterday, I was basically unable to get to school because I turned down the wrong road THREE TIMES. Friends, I drive to Denver Seminary 4 days a week. Sometimes more. And have been for several months. And yet, yesterday I turned incorrectly three times. Wow. Today, I lost the ability to form coherent sentences. Also, I almost forgot how to get to Target. That, readers, is a travesty. And for the past 2 hours, I have been sneezing non-stop. Why? I have no idea.

Lessons learned: miracles happen, I am losing my mind, and my dog is following suit.

Wasn't that a nice wrap up? :)

UPDATE: I just got an email from my school. Turns out.....I PASSED MY COMPS!! That means I get to graduate! And also, the emotional roller coaster that is my day ended with me seeing that grade and bursting into tears. Good lord.

Monday Musings: Worthy

2011-03-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was at the grocery store, wandering around the produce section. (I know. Shocking. I had to bring a salad to study last night. Thus, strawberries were needed.) While I was wandering (I don't often buy strawberries), I overheard a conversation. It was between two unlikely people, and it was such a great conversation, I wandered in their vicinity a little longer, just to hear. And then I wanted to come home immediately and tell everyone I knew.

The first person in this conversation was a young man, probably about my age. Maybe a couple years younger. He was tall and blonde, most girls would consider him very attractive. He was athletic, and even wearing a hoodie for whatever team he played/plays for. To be completely honest and bare all my normal judgments, he was the type of guy who I would normally expect to be a tool. I'm really glad I heard this conversation before deciding that, though.

The second person was a woman. She had long grey hair, which probably hadn't been washed or combed recently. She was wearing tattered clothes, not quite tattered enough to think she was homeless, just to show she is poor. And she was clearly a woman that had lead a very difficult, probably unlucky life.

When I first walked by them, the woman was saying, "I just have to thank you." This struck me, as I couldn't imagine what she was thanking the man for. And this wasn't a thank you like he had helped her get something off the top shelf. This was a really heartfelt thank you. I then heard her explain that she has been in some type of rehab program. None that I've heard of, but it gives her different challenges. One of these was to say hello to a stranger.

From what I gather, she decided to say hello to the young man. And apparently, he was extremely kind and receptive to her hello. She told him that she was terrified of this challenge, that she really thought it was going to be embarrassing and difficult. She was afraid the person she chose would be mean to her. But this man had been kind, and she was truly grateful. She told this man her life story (I wandered around the produce section for probably 10 minutes, and they were talking the entire time, and long after I left.) and explained just how much it meant to her that he was so nice.

If it was me, I really hope I would have been this nice. But I doubt it. I probably would have tried to get away as fast as possible. I probably would have made an excuse or given her a fake smile and escaped. But this young man stayed and listened, and what's more, encouraged her. He told her he was proud of her for saying hello, and that he thought it was a great challenge. He told her she shouldn't be afraid of saying hello to strangers.

I wanted to say something to him, to tell him just how impressed I was, but as I mentioned, they talked for a long time. So the most I could do was to just smile at him, and go about my shopping.

During my quiet time this morning, I read Ephesians 4:1-2. It says, "Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love." This young man was an amazing example of walking worthy. I'm going to try to do the same.

Yes, I Am That Cool

2011-03-04T12:53:00.000-08:00

Today is National Grammar Day! Aren't you excited? I know I am. I also know I am using this day to attempt to improve the texting skills of those who text me (*cough* Amanda *cough*). Because, dear friends, texting with good grammar helps me to a) not be angry at you, b) understand what you are saying, and c) not make fun of you behind your back. Or in front of your back, really. Some texting things to avoid:
1. Not using punctuation. I do not want a text that reads, "Hey lets meet at the Chilis off Colorado and then we can go to the show later oh my gosh did I tell you how cute that boy is because he just saw me fall down" I do not want to figure out where to place periods, and also it sounds like you are on crack when the voice in my head reads that.
2. You are is spelled "you're." "Your" is possessive. Also, know the difference between there, their, and they're.
3. Just as a side note, the phrase is actually "try to." If you "try AND" you are trying AND doing something. You are not trying TO do something.

Alright. I am off my grammar soap box. I know, there are probably only 2 people reading this anymore, and I've probably just been defriended and deleted from phones. I don't care. Grammar saves lives.

Guess what? I'm going to see Romeo and Juliet performed by the Colorado Ballet tomorrow! Katie and I are going. It will be amazing. I have assembled the world's greatest "Going to the Ballet" outfit, as well. I will look like a ballerina. Though I should probably try to lose about 22.8 pounds to really look like a ballerina. My obvious eating habits will give me away. We're also going to eat at The Corner Office first, which is quite possibly my favorite Downtown Denver restaurant. It will be an amazing day.

Alright, the news you have all been waiting for! Denise and I are officially going to do the 30 for 30 Challenge! Here's the part where you all should help me. Should I try to do this with clothes I normally wear, or should I be adventurous and include foreign items like skirts, heels, and (gasp!) collared shirts? You vote.

Well, wasn't that an inspiring post? Full of links again, too. And useless information. Someday I may post something of interest again, but that day is not a Friday. (In related news, Monday Musings may or may not be back on Monday. It depends on how exhausted I am from all the compliments on my amazing ballet outfit.)

I'm Alive!

2011-03-01T16:34:00.000-08:00

Saturday. Was. Horrible. Let's move on.

I was watching the Oscars, thinking, "Oh, I wish I had my laptop and could be writing another ridiculously long list of things I thought about them." I had soooo many things to tell you about, but alas, I was laying almost comatose at my parents' house. (They took me to dinner to celebrate the test being over, and I basically ate my weight in chocolate cake.)

I have to tell you all, I am not what one would call "witty" or "entertaining" or "able to string complete thoughts together" right now. My friend Denise is. She even talks about the Oscars, in case you were really hoping for thoughts on that.

I do have this, though. It's hilarious. I mean, who doesn't want to watch Ron sing about a tiny ball of light?

Guess what? As I have rejoined the world, at least for now, I have been told about amazing news pieces I should have known about weeks and weeks ago. Or at least yesterday. Here are just a few awesome things I've recently learned:
1. Champ Bailey resigned with the Broncos!!! (I actually knew this awhile ago. But I like to bring it up whenever possible.)
2. Charlie Sheen is a loon. And, at that, a loon I'm mildly afraid of. I mean, he'd totally shank you.
3. The roommate, Kimber, got a job! Woohoo! Which also means I have to get a job. (I don't know why. It just does.) She's graciously offered to look for me, since every time I start job hunting, I have a mild panic attack and immediately switch to facebook.
4. (This isn't news. Just a forewarning.) I would very much like to own this dress. $10 to anyone who can find it for me for less than the cost of one month's rent. (Except I still only want to spend about $20 on it. I'm willing to go to $30, but that's about my limit.)
5. Denise (she's become my source for all things newsworthy...slash, interesting to grad students who want to pretend like we have money/places to wear clothes like this) introduced me to this girl's blog about clothes. Thus: a) I love it. b) I hate how adorable she is all the time as I am rarely adorable. c) Why in the world am I not that creative with my clothes? Denise is thinking about doing the 30-Days-of-Clothes-That-I-Still-Can't-Wrap-My-Brain-Around Challenge. I thought about it for about .02 seconds, but I think I don't have enough things that aren't jeans to actually pull it off. But if you buy me that flower dress I will totally do it.

Do you like what I consider news? My friend is a weatherman, so I don't actually watch real news anymore. I just text him about my anger towards/love for the weather. (Today it's love for. Lizzy and I are tres jolie.)

Perhaps later in the week, when my brain is not so mush-like, I will write a blog of substance. For now, go enjoy my links, find me that dress, and also I'd appreciate some recovery cupcakes.

Almost...

2011-02-20T16:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

On Saturday, I will take what will likely be the worst test of my life.

Do you remember taking the ACT or SAT? I don't. I've blocked it from my memory. I took both of them, yet I can recall not a single moment from either test. I have a strong feeling that the same thing will happen on Saturday. I will walk away not knowing what in the world just happened.

I'm really, really looking forward to that moment. The walking away and not remembering anything moment. However, I have a feeling it will be shortly followed by what I will now dub Kristy's Worst Breakdown of All Time. Because I already can't feel my head 90% of the time, I have mostly given up eating as it only leads to nausea, and I basically went into a coma last night. I expect my shattered nerves will go completely haywire after I no longer have to pretend like I am a functioning member of society.

Meanwhile, as you may have guessed, I won't be blogging this week. I mean, except for right now, since I don't want to read about the Patristic period of the church. (Don't know what that is? It's okay. Neither do I. Just kidding. Kind of.) I know you will all miss me dearly. I will miss babbling to you, too.

But here are some things you can look forward to after I come back:
1. I will have slept for probably 63 hours. This means I will have missed church, the exciting dinner my parents are taking me to as a reward, getting my dog back (she's spending the week with the parents because they're afraid I will actually die and then no one will feed her), picking up Julie from the airport (sorry...), and letting you all know I'm alive.
2. Having slept for 63 hours, I will be so ridiculously rested that I will be able to come back with a new and exciting amount of things to tell you. Hopefully I will have also dreamed better dreams than about the men's bathroom being covered in clumps of hair. (Anyone care to interpret that?)
3. I will no longer be wailing about the suffering that is comps. You will actually get to read about other subjects. Like Karl Barth. And feminism. And maybe how I have to teach a class and you all should come listen and pretend I'm really smart.
4. I will be able to interact with people who invite me to happy things. Like movies, coffee, or whatever. Currently the only way people can pry me from the house is to suggest we study at Stella's together. (BTW, the Stella's barista man thinks I'm stalking him. I might be.)
5. I may actually brush my hair again. It's very cute with it's new cut, and you all should see it. But right now it is in some weird mess on top of my head.

I know you are looking forward to these wonderful things. And/or just hoping I have something new to talk about and will stop saying things like "patristic" and "pneumatology."

Happys

2011-02-17T08:36:00.000-08:00

I cannot even express what it's like to be studying for comps AND trying to keep up with 4 classes. I can't begin to tell you how many different thoughts go through my head all at once. Possibly, it is all this that led to my ulcer (which, I will tell you, was the first time I actually thought my stomach pain was from stress) and to my migraine and to the sick day I had to take yesterday.

Luckily (or unluckily for some), the flu is going around my school, so class was cancelled this morning. I'm spending the morning being very lazy and watching Supernatural. (Thank you, Heather.)

I'm also trying to come up with as many different stress relieving activities as I can. My hair cut today is one of them. I'm planning on doing this:
Don't you love it? Also, I'm kidding.

I've also been spending a lot of time doing homework with Friday Night Lights on in the background (music is no longer keeping me awake). And thus, a lot of time is spent staring at Tim Riggins.

I've decided that the writers of FNL were watching a lot of Jake Plummer, and they thought to themselves, "You know who would be a great character for a show? Jake Plummer as a high schooler." And then they made Tim Riggins.

Since we're talking about him, anyway...

(I don't know why that's linked, but every time I try to take the link off, my internet goes crazy. So sorry if it takes you somewhere crazy.)

My dog is also tired of me studying and has thus gone to great lengths to stop it. She even let me take her picture. I'd put it up, but I'm too lazy to go find the connector thing. So you'll just have to see me in person.

Also, yesterday I went to my new favorite coffee shop, Stella's, for some good study with espresso time. I got what should not be an actual drink, but now I actually kind of enjoy. It was an iced chai with a shot of espresso. I know. It sounds disgusting. But here's the thing. The coffee worker guy is pretty cute, and I was in the midst of some mildly gross flirting, so I let him make me a drink. And about 1/3 of the way through, I decided it wasn't too bad. But for those of you out there not addicted to caffeine--it's totally not worth it. Just order something normal.

Finally, I've been taking study breaks to have short dance parties. Mostly to this:

and this

Monday Musings: Sanity

2011-02-14T15:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while standing around the bread/donut/dessert section of the grocery store, I had a breakdown.

Not like a sobbing, obvious breakdown. Just some tears, and about 5 minutes of standing and staring, terrified, around me. There was a lady (a grocer, if you will) putting breadstuff on a display, who would occasionally look at me, as if she was wondering how long I would be standing still.

I told my fellowship group that the reason I had this was because I have so much to do and so little time to do it in. I feel overwhelmed and overloaded. It has to do with work, school, comps (which are in less than 2 weeks), and the intense desire to still have a semblance of a life. Though I'm giving up most of that life until February 26.

Mostly, right now, I just need some peace to come. I need to remember that God is in control, that I can only do so much, and that if some of this doesn't get done, it doesn't get done. That my Tuesday night girls will love me, even if I can't read the whole chapter. That my friends will still be around in 2 weeks, when I surface from the depths of studying. That I only need a 65% on my comps to pass. (Though I'm aiming for a much higher grade...)

I was studying at Stella's (fabulous coffee shop nearish my house), and I started to tear up again. So I anticipate the next couple weeks being a bit emotional. But I'm trying to maintain some sanity.

Prayers would be appreciated. So would cupcakes.

Monday Musings: Hilarity

2011-02-07T12:48:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning, and one of my first thoughts was, "Oh, crap. It's Monday and I have nothing to muse about." Okay, so maybe the thought wasn't that coherent, as anyone who has ever had the "pleasure" of seeing me in the morning knows. But that was the gist. However, as the day has continued, and I stared horrified at my computer, muse-less, I stumbled upon something fabulous.

It's this:

Some days, I stumble upon something completely hilarious or random, and it just seems perfect. Sometimes there's a reason. Sometimes, like today with my dear friend Peter Gabriel, there isn't. There is literally no reason "In Your Eyes" has become the anthem of my day, but there it is.

I think there are a lot of things we take too seriously. A LOT. I think that especially for Christians, we can get so caught up in the importance of being "serious" and "spiritual" that we become boring, and even worse, unrelatable. No one wants to talk to a person who follows every statement with "Isn't that just so God?" No. I was talking about chocolate milk. It's just milk. That blog that I sometimes like and sometimes hate talks about over spiritualizing things. (I'm far too busy and important to find the specific post about it.) And I think he's right. Sometimes a conversation can just be a conversation about nothing.

But sometimes, in the most ridiculous of things, God reminds me that he's there. He's there in all of it. And that is actually true. When Peter Gabriel screeches out about how the light and the heat are in my eyes, God is laughing right along side of me. When Slash comes out of the Superbowl Halftime floor and my mother randomly declares that this is the best halftime show she's seen, God is also snorting milk out of his metaphorical nose. (Cause, you know, God doesn't have a nose. So maybe Jesus is snorting milk out of his nose.) And when the girl I'm picking up (and meeting for the first time) to carpool to our new Bible study together happens to know one of my dearest friends in all the world, God is reminding me that he heard my prayer for a good study, and good community.

I love things that can be completely unrelated to God in some people's eyes. Terrible 80's music. Football. Ridiculous WB shows. The video of my dog wearing boots. But like C.S. Lewis said, "I believe in God as I believe in the sun. Not because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else."

Enjoy Peter. And if you want, if you have time, let me know some hilarious and random things that you see God in. Like red velvet pancakes.

100 Days

2011-02-03T15:35:00.001-08:00

I don't know if you noticed (or have been around recently), but today is 100 days before...dum dum dum....graduation.

What am I doing 100 days before graduation? I'll tell you.
1. Teaching my dog to wear boots. (It's REALLY cold outside. And she wasn't able to finish walks cause her feet kept freezing, so now we're doing boots. It's completely hilarious.)
2. Reading Dracula. Because I'm a good student.
3. Watching Friday Night Lights. My friend Denise told me to.
4. Studying for my 6 hour long test. Over everything I've learned in 4 years. And stuff I didn't learn, so others have to teach me. That test is in 23 days. Then I will be dead.
5. Working out obsessively. For reasons explained below, but also because if I'm at the gym, guess what I don't have to be doing? That's right. Studying.

What do I plan to do in these next 100 days? I honestly thought about listing 100 things I want to do in my last 100 days, but oh good lord, that's ridiculous. (I'll pause while you thank your lucky stars.) But what I am planning on doing is trying my best to enjoy it. Because while it's entirely possible that I'll be in school again someday, that day is not planned nor soon. And in 100 days (or more, really), I'll have to be a grown up. And that is sad.